Looks really can be deceiving. In the midst of this court things with Zack I have to reiterate that Scott and I never saw a single picture of this sibling group until AFTER we decided to take them. Not once. Appearances are deceiving, they mislead, they are lies. We talked to the lawyer the other day and Scott said we were naive when we took this tough group. "We thought we could do anything". I really didn't think that ht, but I did think that the information was a little extreme for a 6,7 and 8 year old. I could not imagine(and most clinical individuals will agree) that a 5 year old was bi-polar. YES I knew they had behavior issues, yet I think "PollyAnna-ish" might be the proper word. We have an heavenly, literally, church family. We have such an incredible town! Such a great community. We are surrounded by the ultimate(in my mind)support group. That is for "normal/average" kids, which we felt these kids could be with love and structure. THAT though was naive. We had yet to face children who had such losses. We had not witnessed the profound loss of a child whose mother drank and did drugs. We now have. Looks can be deceiving.
Above is Sam, the youngest of my tough trio. This picture, taken this morning, reminds me of the cute little cross-eyed kid in the movie Dennis the Menace. Remember him? SO cute. Sam can be cute. Sam can be kind. Sam can feel remorse. Sam can be a good helper. Sam can be obstinate, disrespectful, lying, stealing, fit-throwing, destructive, and violent little boy at times too. His brain is wired all wrong! Wired by drugs and alcohol in-vetro. It is terribly sad, it is a tragedy, it is so hard and yet he still has to be held accountable for his actions. That is life. That is reality.
Below are pictures of his room. THIS is the only one of the trio at home currently. The "safest" child. Looks sure can be deceiving, yet sometimes you just have to look a little deeper and you see the "fruit" being produced. We have been told that Sam will not live independently, tough to hear. More important to me that where he lives is HOW he lives. My prayers are that something we do will be successful!!
1 comment:
Oh my goodness Amanda!! I am reading this post, nodding my agreement about how "looks can be deceiving" and then the pictures of his room!! I have some nice ones of Daniel's room right now too.
My son (now 10) was dx as bipolar when he was 4 and on tons of meds when he came to us. He's off all meds right now - but sadly, I think he needs to go back on them or at least be re-evaluated soon. I can see his behavior cycling and have done much research on what bi-polar looks like in children as opposed to adults. My son goes from manic-which includes out of this world impulsive behavior, not listening, being punished over and over for the same offense, laughing hysterically over the slightest thing and thinking HIS behavior is hysterically funny (it can last from 6 days to 2 weeks) to just being loving and even-keel to crying over anything and everything and being inconsolable (it doesn't look like depression, it looks like he's just being VERY sensitive to everything). He has a good heart and I hate to punish him when he's manic, but he drives all of us nuts - everyone is frustrated with him and nobody wants to be around him. The longer he's been unmedicated, the older he gets, the more obvious these cycles are. When he was 4? He was a terrified little boy who was emotionally overwrought and being shuffled around from home to home because no one could handle him. He ended up here and when I was about to give up on him, the worker said, "Well, no one else will take him so he'll have to go to RTC"....what???? I was devastated that me giving up on him would send him to a program with teenagers where he could be victimized by older kids - so I hung in there. I'm glad I did (so far -lol) but it concerns me to think that there are so many kids out there that haven't been so lucky, kids whose descriptions or behaviors scared off prospective families.
YOU gave these boys a chance to be in a real, loving, supportive family. You gave them so many opportunities within that family structure to succeed. They (I'm including all three, but you know how to apply this) may not ever be able to take advantage of these opportunities, but they were there, offered in love. They may not be able to help how they behave, I can accept that with my son as well, but at some point you have to put the majority of the family and their safety first. It's not easy at all, but you're doing what you have to do.
I was very naieve as well. Now I know better, but I still want to help kids (go figure).
Post a Comment