Limits

I once again have reached the limit on my blogs picture capacity. The pictures are, of course, my favorite part of blogging. I will have to open another one, so until that is done, this will be my last smothermanfamily2 blog. I will add a link to my new one soon:)

NEW BLOG HERE

I haven't had time to decorate my new blog, but, I can yap there just fine:)

On thier own..

I think one of the things I hold my breath on is the behaviors of my children when they "grow up", the most important is their relationship with Christ. I "drag them to church", well, actually I just drive them (although sometimes that drive began with a drive out of bed). Scott and I doing all we can to instill in them the example of Christ and to nurture their faith. That said, the true test as a parent comes later, it comes when they truly exercise their free will and go to church on their own.

Last week Caleb asked me about us going to church while I was here, I really was happy. I found a wonderful church family and we very much enjoyed the fellowship. But, yesterday? It was the first time Caleb had opportunity to go on his own. Part of me really wanted to call him and ask if he was getting ready. But, the part of me that knew this had to be all about his faith, his choice, knew that my conversation would be better served later in the day. You know the "what did you do today?" question followed by "You did/didn't go to church??". Of course it would have been followed by the "wonderful!" or "why not!" talk. I will always be his mother and I will always question his faith and where he is, I just thought he deserved opportunity to be independent. So I did not call to wake him up.

As we were finishing lunch but still sitting around the table Caleb called. He had a great day:) The couple we met last week (who are over the young professionals class) picked Caleb up early for class and worship. They showed him around the building and they did all the things a momma prays someone would do for her child far from home. He stayed for the fellowship meal,helping set up and clean-up, I am so thankful our home congregation instilled in the youth the ability to help and work! He felt like he was home:) He loved it! And I could not have been more thankful. Thankful to God who lives in the heart of my Caleb, and the same God who worked through wonderful Christians to encourage my child.

When they took Caleb back to base they had two big trays of desserts for him. He told them he could not take them up to his barracks, but they still insisted he take them. Caleb said, "So I walked over to the smokers (section...can't remember what he called it) and told them we had a fellowship meal after church and the ladies sent all this back with me. Does anyone wanted some homemade chocolate?" He said "They jumped on it. As I walked away a couple of the guys yelled, 'hey, what church did you go to?"." THAT is the faith I want for my children. I want to know they see God working in their lives because of thier own choosing because it's the right thing, to worship and walk with God.

It was a parenting payday...one where the work of love paid back a huge return:)

Cold, Wet and Happy Winners:)

We were more than cold...lol...nearly freezing this morning. The boys all played football in the cold cold morning mud. The fields are mushing and the boys sure did get to play in that mud. Ryan played both junior varsity and varsity games. His clothing reflects his time on the field:) Ryan also ran back 80 yards for a TD!! Dan played all of JV and some Varsity. Michael, who has missed some practices due to sickness, did not play much. I am very thankful, the cold wet mud would not have been a good thing for him (I am thankful to the coach for that one). JV game was tied and Varsity was a win for our Kiwanas team!


Seth's flag team played two games back to back and won them both. A great game day for his team!

Example before success!!

I love sports, just ask any of the seemingly bazillion other parents I stand/sit and cheer with at games. I am not a yeller. I am a clapper. I have firm rules within my household about what can and can't be said at any sporting event. Some people might call the sportsmanship related, I call them Christlike.

I have heard it said that "Sportsmanship must come before success". I like that. I think kids need to know that their behavior is twice as important as success (meaning winning in this case). I think as parents we must practice sportsmanship, duh! But, as I sit and watch games .... so many games..... I think parents EXAMPLE has to come before success.

Today on the flag football field we had a poor example. I love thinking of it as the "field of dreams" the place little boys come to play the games of their dreams. It unfortunately, in my mind, is also the place parents come to play the games of their dreams. It IS a dream for little boys, it's the excitement of the game, it's the very joy of having the opportunity to PLAY. Parents? Parents can become the very epitome of poor sportsmanship. One of the most important rules of sportsmanship, again in my mind, is being law abiding, or perhaps the word is rule abiding. And WHO enforces the rules? Referees. Not young hot headed "I'm right and you're wrong" coaches. Part of me thinks there should be an age requirement for coaches. But even I understand that good sportsmanship is NOT defined by age, we just hope wisdom comes with age.

And to prove that point? The young high school referees were no where near the two poorly acting coaches...they like everyone else were just watching. Watching and learning, for anyone watching them realized they were behaving foolishly. Young sons watching the example of "how you behave when someone talks back to you". Thankfully one of those "men" had a father who stepped up and separated them. I must say that example was a good one, and perhaps why I feel wisdom comes with age.

That field of dreams my youngest son plays on is much like the fields he will play on the rest of his life. There will always be great examples and there will always be "teaching" examples. I sincerely pray for myself that I am always the good example and never one others use to teach their children "what not to do".

Same old Same old!

Maybe I have been a mom too long, maybe I have talked to my kids too much about behavior, maybe maybe maybe....Perhaps they're just normal or maybe my kids are a tad bit slow:) Either way, the same old same old words keep coming out of my mouth!

This morning we left the house for school, we were a mile down the road when Tasha said, "I forgot my binder." My first thought was "ah-ha ownership!", so I turned around. Noticing the change of direction, those who did not hear Tasha's statement said, "where are we going?". Before I could say anything I heard several voices bemoaning the time delay. When the grumbling began Tasha (destroying my previous thoughts of ownership) said, "It's not my fault my teachers make me bring it!" Same old same old ... I explained as patiently as I could " Tasha, this is not about FAULT, this is about responsibility and it absolutely IS your responsibility to get your books to the van. When you wake up in the morning, all of you, have truly only self-centered goals: wake up, shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, put your shoes on, brush your teeth, pick up in your room, and take yourself and your things to the van. All each of you have to worry about is yourself. So when you forget your books?? It is your responsibility."

I stepped down mentally from my soapbox and let go of a huge mental sigh. Why is ownership so hard? Why do people so quickly want to blame?

I got a call a little while ago from the Principal of our elementary school. Ryan was with him in the office. Ryan and his friend (it really is his friend) were pushing around during basketball outside during recess. They lined up to come inside and the pushing apparently came with them. Friend said Ryan hit him. When investigated, an equal amount of people said Ryan had hit him as the number who said he had not. The Principal diplomatically said, "we really don't know what happened.". I laughed a bit(you know that nervous "are you serious laugh"?) and replied, "It really doesn't matter if he did or didn't hit _____, he was obviously behaving inappropriately and there should of course be consequences." He explained that both boys would be staying with Ms Peggy (who does in school suspension) the rest of the day and that meant they would miss the Parade. The Homecoming Parade(the incredible to all elementary school kids parade) is a pretty significant privilege to lose and perhaps just what my Ryan needed. The Principal thanked me for my support. In my opinion that is a "duh, of course I will" thing.

All that to say, the same old same old, from the beginning of time until Oct 16, 2009. It really does get old. I sincerely look forward to the day that my children get to share that "same old same old" wisdom with their children:)

Bronte'...inside or outside?

While I was gone over the weekend our puppy (that wasn't really a puppy anymore) died. We are not sure why. There will be no autopsy's. Scott and Jacob buried her. Although she was such a big dog Scott said they would have to call someone with a back hoe if Bronte' died. The kids were attached to Reece, the puppy, but everyone loves Bronte'. Bronte' is funny and smart.

Yesterday Jacob called to me, "Hey Mom, can Bronte' be an inside dog? He's already half in and half out." I bet not to many people have half horses for pets! He truly was this far inside the window! I laughed. And then I took pictures. Even I, non doggie lover, loves the goofy dog:)

My Freedies

I have not posted much lately on my Freedies, Doug and Stuart.

Stuart and his girlfriend Anna were here in Savannah this past weekend. I was not:( I missed getting to spend time with them! Stuart hops in and out (as does Doug) pretty often. I love that!

Doug hopped in Tuesday afternoon and stayed through dinner. He had some Biology work to do and spent some time printing information and studying. At one point(when I took the picture above) I laughed and asked, "Do you really think it's quieter here than school??".

The call of his laundry also called him home. One time I am thankful for dirty laundry. I think that's called a silver lining. haha

Half way through the semester we are all looking looking forward Christmas. Although sweetly (to me) it is not actually the "gift giving and food" portion of Christmas they look forward to, it's the beach....and that is not actually the "sand and water" part, it's the family, it's the fellowship, I sure do love that my kids get it!!

5 days and 5 states

What a long weekend! I have traveled through (and in and around) 5 states in the last 5 days... I am very tired:) I think I averaged my travel time today and decided I have spent 6 hours of car travel a day since last Thursday...shew!

Last Thursday night(aka Day ONE) Seth, CHelsea and I drove to Peachtree City to stay the night half way to Jacksonville. Bo was so very nice to let us all stay at his house (he's neat like that). We got up Friday morning(Day TWO), had breakfast and rode around in the golf cart for a little while. Seth had to have a leaf collection and we collected and took pictures of the trees. Okay, so mom is terrible at "trees" and I figured dad would be much more likely to help us identify if he could see the tree...so we took pictures. Thankfully Chelsea is a bit taller than me and helped Seth pick the yellow leaves:)






This was taken on the way into the rehersal dinner:


Chelsea had her "first time ever in her life" stitches last week when she had a mole removed from her temple. She had to have the stitiches taken out on Friday, but anticipating being so far from home Chelsea called her friend Ben (brother-in-law of the groom). He's a nurse and brought along the "stuff" to take them out. So after the rehersal dinner he did. They thought I was silly for taking pictures, yet it was so very neat to me. I have pictures of Ben and Chelsea all thier lives, from stroller pictures, to youth group pictures, to wedding pictures (when Chelsea's friend Emily married Ben) to today...grown up pictures:)




After the reception Bo and Seth enjoyed the pool...or perhaps I should say "Bo was so very nice to swim and play with Seth!" It certianly allowed Seth time to swim himself tired!


The next morning(Day THREE) we were up and going. We took some more leaf pictures:)


After we ate breakfast we headed back to the church for pictures. My duo did such a great job. Seth was a great ringbearer (who really "beared" a fishing pole) and Chelsea was a beautiful bridesmaid:)

Seth and the beautiful bride, Courtney:


Chelsea, Courtney and thier wonderful friend Suzanne who also was the photographer:


Everyone:


The little people:


Chelsea and Seth:


Chelsea and Bo:


Chelsea and Bo and Seth:


After arriving back in Atlanta Saturday night this was Seth favorite part of the whole trip...seriously....XBox football (LSU, Seth's love verses UT, Bo's love). Seth won (thank you Bo) 21 to 17.


We woke up(Day FOUR) and left at 4:55am (our time) and left to get to Augusta (175 miles away) in time for church with Caleb. This is my first glimpse of Caleb walking toward us...he looks good:)


We worshipped with the Central Chruch of Christ in Martinez. What a wonderful congregation! They were so very friendly and so very hospitalable to Caleb. Caleb just made it to phase 4, so for the first time he can leave and go worship off base. There are just no words of relief to describe how I felt as a mother with her grown son who is so far from home and such a desire for him to have a church family. He called earlier in the week and asked me to help him find one...I was so glad to be going with my son, not taking him!! All those things we desire to do for our children we can no longer do because they must do them for themselves....it really IS incredible to see our children "grown up". Caleb introduced himself and talked to members(all by himself...such a wonderufl thing!). As always, we found we had "people" in common with a few of the members. A small world thing! This picture was taken at lunch after church:


We went ahead and got our motel room for the night. We watched football and napped a bit before dinner.


After dinner Caleb and Seth worked out:) Seth was too busy making faces in the mirror to his right ... I think Caleb was the only one "working":


Caleb didn't have to be on base until midnight so we had a late night, but so much wonderful talk time!

The next morning (Day FIVE) we arrived at base, ate on base at Huddle House with Caleb. We had hoped (meaning Seth had hoped) to play some football but we woke to rain and our fun was rained out. So instead we went to the mall where Caleb picked out his birthday present.


I am so very proud of Caleb. I wish there was a way to explain it. We talked so long over meals about behavior, about attitudes, about living right...Caleb understands. Somewhere between June and October my son has truly become a man. I suppose the the word might just be "love"...I sure do love this hardworking soldier!!

After leaving at lunch time Seth and I drove home (nearly 8 hours) in the rain. What a messy yucky day. We arrived home last night about 7:30. I heard retreat stories from my Jr High kiddos, watched fun videos and just enjoyed all the way until bedtime.

This morning (Day 6...I'm still counting) I was up and gone from teh house (after having everyone dressed and ready for school) but 7 am. It was my Memphis day of visits with Sam and Zack. Jacob took the submom job and picked up the slack. He got everyone to school and picked them all up. When I called at 3:19 he had them all in the van and was at Sonic buying everyone drinks. He had a Tim Hawkins DVD for everyone to watch on the big screen when they got home. I love that!! I love thoughtful and responsible....thank you Jake!!!

I was home by 5:15, just in time to feed my crew and do all those things mom have to do:) Now it's 8:30 and I am going to bed..haha...just as soon as I get my kids all down!

Day SEVEN? I'm staying home, not likely true "rest" but it has to be quieter than the previous six days:) Well, until church time. I have all day to work on my Bible class lesson for tomorrow night. I usually do much better about having it done ahead of time........but I've been a little busy.

ps..For whatever reason my spell check is not working...so I will go ahead and extend my apologies:)

Guess who I get to see this weekend???

My soldier:) Seth and I will be making a side trip to Ft Gordon to see my son. I am so so so so so so so so so so so (lol...you get it I'm sure) excited to be able to spend some time with Caleb!! I am so ready for a big hug and a long talk!

Headed out....

I have been crazier than normal getting everyone ready to head out of town in different directions. Not to mention the normal everyday stuff....like Seth above who had to have 10 leaves for school today. He was very impressed with his heart shaped leaf:) Me too!

I had Bella and Michael back to the Dr yesterday about their coughing. Turns out they had the beginning of Bronchitis, but a neato shot and breathing treatment later they were doing much better. They are back in school today after a week and two days away!

I had my ladies Bible class last night which takes a lot of my day (lovingly takes a lot of my day) in preparation.

I was up way to late last night playing Phase 10 with Preston and Sarah, although I always always enjoy those times with my kids!

Sarah left this morning for her trip to the beach with Scott's mom. Sarah is chauffeuring Nancy and her friend. Pretty neat job if you ask me!!

This afternoon Chelsea, Seth and I are leaving for Atlanta. I have run today getting forms filled out and moneys paid for the retreat this weekend. I watched a super incredible video John helped Philip make for the retreat(I will share it when it is on YouTube). I ran in to get toothpaste and snacky things for my 7 leaving tomorrow night. Chelsea and I shopped BIG time last night for the long weekend last night.

It is always hard to travel with my kids, but a whole lot easier to my than leaving them home and trying to make plans.

Below is just a neat picture. I have got to find someone to teach Rosie piano. She absolutely loves it! She has a wonderful aptitude for the piano and is reading music already so I can actually "tell" what she is playing when she plucks around:)

Doug's on TV

Yesterday as I was watching Nie on Oprah I saw a commercial about the FHU benifit dinner and guess which of my kids was in it?? DOUG:) I laughed and immediately texted him...he had not shared the making of this and it was a super neat surprise! I rarely watch TV and extrememly rarely during the daytime, so because of Nie I saw Doug!!

Neat Neat Neat!

The list goes on....

We have been seriously sick at my house for a SOLID WEEK now. This morning Mercedez tested positive for Type A Flu (aka...dumped into the Swine Flu/H1N1 Category). She joins Bella, Michael, Tasha, and Lita. Tori was home most of last week with Bronchitis (which ABSOLUTELY did not need to get the flu...thankfully she did not).

I am to be in Jacksonville Florida this weekend for Courtney's wedding...Seth and Chelsea are both to be in the wedding....I keep chanting: I think we can, I think we can, I think we can....lol:) I just hope so.

It is so very very rare that something grab a hold of so many at my house. I suppose it's telling of the "grab-ability" of this flu!

PS The picture above is not one taken today... obviously.

Privilege or Right?

Some things parents deal with are,IMHO, brought on by themselves. Or perhaps I should say "by allowing opportunities too soon". I can remember when my oldest girls were small, I was careful when we incorporated some things into our lives. I was a bit over cautious as a mom, I attended movies with them (still do my middle school kiddos, unless it is a church outing or a big brother/sister is with them). When Chelsea and Sarah were in middle school we had an "extra" cell phone they carried only when traveling to away basketball games with the team and needed to call to be picked up. But the phone was not a privilege, it was to be used for a specific purpose. It was handed back to mom or dad on the way home, not used for calling buddies.

Today, I do have children who have cell phones. John and Jacob (Juniors in high school are my youngest phone carriers). Phones they pay for and bought. I will not be buying any phones for my kiddos. When they have a job and can make those payments, then they may have one. You know, it's kinda like earning:) I have friends who talk about "cell phone" issues and we don't have those...it's a choice. We don't even own a cordless phone...that also is intentional.

A lady messaged me not to long ago about a man who is friends with her young (as in maybe/maybe not middle school age) daughter. She was concerned because "no one knows who he is". I'm not friends with him. I looked at my facebook kiddos friends and yes Caleb was friends with the guy too. He does not know who the guy is....but my Caleb is GROWN. I am not really concerned about him "doing something or leading Caleb astray". My children who have facebook are all Juniors in high school (or older). The fear of someone "getting" my children through facebook is not there for me...we chose that INTENTIONALLY. While this mom was freaking out and wanting me to join? It isn't a freak out thing for me because I have not allowed that opportunity yet to my children. In all honesty, they have not earned it.

Too soon children grow up. Too soon they are given responsibilities that are just too much. I am not talking bad about parents who do allow their children those things....for each parent chooses for their children accordingly. Those are just things we have decided to not add to the normal growing up process just yet. Being a kids is truly tough enough. There are so many life skills I want my children to have before they have "the world at thier fingertips". In truth, that is a pretty scary concept to me!

The same could be said about driving. It's hard for your child to get a ticket if they aren't out driving. There is a time and place for all things.

But, whether it's driving, phones or the Internet, ALL are privileges and not rights, ALL must be earned. Well, in my opinion:)

I Heart Faces: My favorite things.

This was pretty easy.... my favorite things are pretty obvious in my life: My God,my husband and my family!

With God? I am alive:)

Without God? I am dead.


God has blessed me and my favorite things reflect His love and grace. My husband is truly a direct blessing! In this picture he is baptizing our son Ryan....pretty incredible man!


Scott and I prayed about our family. We felt we had been blessed with wonderful families ourselves. We knew what we wanted and God blessed us way beyond our wildest dreams. My family is a living breathing example of "You better be careful what you pray for!!"

Smack/Trash

This Washington Area Soccer League found that “For parents to be shrieking on the sidelines and belittling people goes against everything we’re trying to do...” As I read the article I really thought about parents behavior. Sportsmanship is defined as the following:

Sportsmanship (n.) the practice of playing fair, of taking a loss or defeat without complaint, or a victory without gloating, and
treating opponents with fairness, courtesy and respect.

It's not just about the kids. It's adults too!!

I sat at the football game today watching 4th,5th and 6th grade boys play their first ballgame of the season. For those boys this is a learning ground. It's about making mistakes (good grief they will make a lot...duh!) and it's about learning to correct those mistakes. I watched as there was sometimes too much aggression, sometimes emotions running high, and a whole lot of football... In the midst of my watching one lone mamma's voice rose above all others. Yelling at....well, truthfully yelling at no one and everyone. I was embarrassed for her. I was embarrassed for her son. I was embarrassed for her team. I was thankful she was not a mom on our team so I would not have to listen to her all year.

Was she justified in her yelling? Who cares. It's about SPORTSMANSHIP. We, in the midst of football, are trying to teach our boys respect to each other and the other team, respect to coaches and referees, to play fair (and LEARN how to play fair), to not brag or boast, to be understanding....

As I stood with Seth following his game today he was telling me the things some of the boys on the other team were saying to his team. I'm not saying Seth's teammates were not doing it too...only that my son better not be! Seth said he ignored them. I talked about doing our best. Talked about the referees, they do not always see everything but THEY decide and we move on. I talked about not ever talking Smack...not talking Trash....my words were simple:

Do your best, play your hardest and if you do? Hope your best is better than the other teams best. Sometimes it will be and sometimes it might not. But ugly talk is just that UGLY!

I remember many many years ago (I know it was MANY because I was about 9 years old) my cousin was visiting our house. He was a big boy, much bigger than my brother Jon. This cousin talked smack, he was in his opinion "better at everything". I can remember him telling Jon he could do 50 push-ups. Jon couldn't do 50 and would never have bragged he could. My dad, wise wise dad, overheard and made this cousin prove it. I really don't think that cousin could do more than 3. I am not sure that mouthy cousin ever learned a thing, but it made Jon and I always know that we would be called upon to "put our money where our mouth was"! I like that. It's fair. It's about sportsmanship. Goodness...it's about LIFE!

It really is hard enough to teach children sportsmanship with other children not behaving appropriately. Or maybe, as in my case, it's really much easier. When moms and dads behave poorly they certainly will become my example. They want to be heard so much and I simply take advantage of that desire....not likely what they had in mind. It's so much easier to explain "why" some children are the way they are when you watch a parent behave poorly.

I have mouthy kids, I would be the very last person to act as though they don't....BUT YOU WILL NEVER HEAR OR SEE MOM SETTING THAT POOR EXAMPLE FOR THEM. It just can't be who I am!

I think the Washington League that set aside seemingly ridiculous rules is absolutely right! I totally agree with the opposition too...it's silly to have those rules, but not nearly as ridiculous as the behavior of some parents....rules are born from abuse....abuse of a right and from an example of wrong doing. Parents who do not show respect are wrong. Leagues who strive to teach children to play fairly...they are right.

All that preaching of mine in simple terms just means MAKE GREAT...not hate!!

Jacob:)

The following note was in our church bulletin. I have copied it here for me (and Grannie and Pa and loved ones). It is not a surprise, but so sweet for me to read. I have to say, my Jacob loves our neighbor Harvie. Harvie had a heart transplant several years ago and now has several pretty serious health issues he deals with in addition. Jacob helps Harvie in ways I sometimes never even know about. To be fair and true, Harvie does for Jacob in BIG ways too. Harvie will let Jacob use his fishing boat, will let him and buddies hang out watching football games and Harvie is always ready to eat out with his buddies. Jacob does have a great heart and a big love for his friends. I think all our children need these kinds of relationships with older Christians, if only so they have the opportunity to serve with great love!!

Dear Church family: I love you all. I need to say thanks to all that showed love and concern for me while I have been sick. Thanks for all the calls, cards, visits, food, and to Sheila Gean (my guardian angel) for keeping a close eye on me. A special thanks to Jacob Smotherman for taking care of my house and all the chores and for calling me every day. Thanks for the visit to Memphis and returning to pick me up and bring me home the next day. This is a young man with a great heart. Keep praying for me. May God bless you all, Harvie Cossey.

FIRST football games!

Ryan and Daniels team Kiwanas played this morning for teh first time. Micahel missed getting to play. Hopefully he will be up and going strong next week. The JV(Ryan and Dan team) won thier game....yeah JV!!

The boys did really well:) The loved playing (which is the WHOLE point!)! This first picture was one of the first 4 game frames I shot....Daniel's SACK!

The next picture? Ryan caused a fumble and Dan recovered it! GREAT teamwork!


The boys tackle game and Seth's flag game were at teh the same time, so John came and helped out being a spectator while I went over to Seth's game (which is on the practice field, behind the bleachers). Seth's team won 35-14. Seth had two touchdowns:) It was a great game for the Steelers! Below is one of Seth touchdown runs:






What a morning! I am very thankful to have afternoon arrive and NO plans for the rest of the day!!