rip sticks

My guys (or three of them) have rip sticks. To me, the very idea that my kiddos can even operate one is amazing. It has rained all day, school has already been closed tomorrow, and my kiddos have ridden this silly stick in circles through the living room all day. Seth putting "big people" to shame as he wiggles it along:)

mommmmm!

I had to laugh to myself tonight as I watch Sarah and Jacob try to comfort a crying Seth. After a very long 20 minutes with no calming him .....Sarah looked to me as I snapped this picture (this fuzzy picture:) You have to laugh at her! She had exhasted all reason and was disgusted, Seth was still crying. At 6 he still gets tired after a long day of playing with big brothers and sisters. He would not dream of napping! But, after dinner you might as well know he is running on fumes.

MG picked-up:)

Jacob's bank account is a little fatter today:) His car is now gone. I took these pictures this morning.....the last time Jacob stood beside his car.

ICE

I woke this morning to a call from the school (at 5:30 am) stating there would not be any school today due to inclimate weather. In other words, Ice. Our cars were beautiful and shiny when I looked out. The roads were just as shiny too, causing serious concerns to drivers. All my children childre ar home, Jacob is tickled because the buyer of his MG is coming today around noon to pick up the car. Jacob wanted to be home and now he is:) The buyer like only a couple of hours from our house in Guin Alabama. The temp is now up and it is raining (I am not sure my yard will recover after all the mud), so perhaps he will still be able to come.

The bad driving conditions also make me think of another kind of ICE. In my phone and that of my children is the contact "ICE" ....In Case of Emergency. Under mine is Scott and then my Dad.....for my children both mine and Scott's numbers. Additional ICE numbers are listed as ICE2, ICE3....ect. A neat way for emergency officials to figure out who to call in emergency situtaions. Even I, who am not as phone savvy as my children, have quite a few contacts. My kids have tons. I liked this idea very much:)

Another one?

Tonight at church a man stopped after the devotional and said, "Do you have another one?" pointing at my little girls on the row in front of me. I shook my head looking to see who was in front of me.....I knew immediately who he spoke of:) A sweet little girl who comes with her grandparents. Sitting beside my Victoria. I realize that even within my church family it is hard for others to keep up with "who's who". Not surprising, I get other peoples one or two or three mixed up!! I am so looking forward to our new church directories!! I think they will certianly help me, and others "see" those who are in our families. I sometimes watch the kids at pew packers (above) and wonder who a child belongs to:)

As I dropped Summer off the other day I asked if she knew my phone number? She replied, "I know Mr Scott's, but it sure would be better if I just had a phone book!" Of course Summer does not have a phone book at home, or a phone. She has to walk to Krogers to use the phone and it's a pay phone. I think about our directories and what a gret blessing they will be within our church family. Summer will be able to look up numbers and see faces:) It is hard to imagine the handicap it is to be without a phone (or in Summers case....a phone book!).

Victoria

Victoria, seen here with my step-mother Clara Ruth, is our baby girl. At 8 she is likely one of the most outgoing, outspoken children we have. Full of confidence and life, she promises to be a very unique young lady!

Scott was telling me that a friend from church retold this to him, "I came to pick up JD and I talked to that blond haired girl you have not had very long." Scott asked if she meant Summer? She replied, "No I know who Summer is. This little girl asked who I was here for and I said 'JD' and she asked if he lived here. I don't think she has been with you long."

As Scott and I talked about it, it became obvious that it was indeed Victoria(who has been here more than half her life, over 4 years). Victoria was not confused about who lived here.....lol....she thought the "lady in the car" was confused about who lived here:) Victoria knew we did not have a JD and was trying to clarify!

Contrary to some belief.....my children do know everyone who lives here!

Sadness

There is so much sadness in the world. Not a surprise to us, but always shocking and sad. My friend Laura posted today about a couple of terrible losses! Two families (the Mathenia family and the Davis family)who will struggle to start their today's anew without those they love. I cannot image this loss. I cannot imagine my life without my husband. Even for those who have to "think life through" there is simply not enough thinking that will plan or help us through such tremendous losses. I know that God's will and His knowledge is just not known to me. I know that each day I have here is a blessing. A blessing I get to spend with those I love:) I try very hard to not take my life for granted. But, the truth is.....I have no idea what it would be like without Scott! I need to work more on my empathy as well, I have no idea, yet I cannot wait until I can truly empathize to reach out to those who are hurting. I need to be better about loving those around me who need encouragement, whether I am ready or not!!

YEAH Jacob!!

Jacob's car sold last night on eBay!! For more than he paid for it! A big deal when you are talking about a money pit:) Even a fun one!! You can read (see) about Jacob's car here and here.

YEAH Chelsea!!

Chelsea was told yesterday that after another interview she is going to be working with Freed Hardeman in the Admissions Office once again as Intern to the Events Coordinator! On the link is this picture at the bottom of the page.... Chelsea is second from the left:) This job means Chelsea will be gone the next few weekends at WinterFest and CYC in Gatlinburg working with the university.

YEAH Stuart!!

This will be Stuarts home (away from home) this summer:) It is officially announced today....Stuart will be a Mid South Youth Camp counselor next summer! He has been dreaming of this job and is so very excited!!! We are too:) It will keep him not to far from home and having the time of his life!

Painting

These guys are headed out, but not to paint the town:) Tonight our high school plays our rivals. They boys are in rare form, rare painted form! Six or seven more kids painted faces and are not pictured. They guys are pretty serious about their team support!

Actual location/destination

We will not actually be sleeping under the stars and reclining by day in chairs:) This is our actual location and destination, the Puntacana Resort and Club:) A slightly bigger community than Gilligan's!

1st graders:)

This is one of the three grades (1st, 8th, 10th)I currently have no children in....but is likely one of the funniest and sweetest:) Imagination is so wonderful and when Jackie Watson sent this to me I laughed and had to share:

The innocence of a child...... 1st grade school teacher had twenty-six students in her class. She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading, keep in mind that these are first-graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic!

1. Don't change horses until they stop running.
2. Strike while the bug is close.
3. It's always darkest before Daylight Saving Time.
4. Never underestimate the power of termites.
5. You can lead a horse to water but How?
6. Don't bite the hand that looks dirty.
7. No news is impossible
8. A miss is as good as a Mr.
9. You can't teach an old dog new Math
10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll stink in the morning.
11. Love all, trust Me.
12. The pen is mightier than the pigs.
13. An idle mind is the best way to relax.
14. Where there's smoke there's pollution.
15. Happy the bride who gets all the presents.
16. A penny saved is not much.
17. Two's company, three's the Musketeers.
18. Don't put off till tomorrow what you put on to go to bed.
19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and You have to blow your nose.
20. There are none so blind as Stevie Wonder.
21. Children should be seen and not spanked or grounded.
22. If at first you don't succeed get new batteries.
23... You get out of something only what you See in the picture on the box
24. When the blind lead the blind get out of the way.
25. A bird in the hand is going to poop on you.

And the WINNER and last one!

26. Better late than Pregnant

Gilligan's Island

These pictures reminded me of Gilligan's Island. I grew up watching the silly comedy. This morning I sat down to look at Scott and my destination for out "away" trip this year. This is the sight that awaits me:) We are not leaving until March, but I can live on pictures and anticipation! Although, it is not truly Gilligan's Island, it is an island. More commonly known as the Dominican Republic. I have all my helpers in place. Kelly will be babysitting, Sherri Winborn will have Bella during the day, Anne (bless her heart! I love her!) is there to do whatever she needs to do:) So now I simply get to gaze at beautiful pictures that radiate a peace that is likely unattainable (lol...which is the whole reason we dream!) until we leave.

HIRSUTISM

Several of my little ones have Hirsutism. Mercedez' is pretty obvious. I was talking to Sarah about options for Mercedez as she grows older. Jacob was listening as we talked about shaving and trimming the hair on her arms. I took Mercedez about 7 years ago to our dermatologist who said when the day came that it bothered her we could do some things, but primarily shaving.

Tonight Jacob and Preston went to Walgreen's and bought male hair remover. They both, unknown to me, removed all the hair on their arms in search of a product for Mercedez! These silly sweet guys!! Too funny!! But, it worked and as Preston stated, their "arms are very soft"!

William A. Chatfield

William A Chatfield sent Stuart a letter this week. I imagine all young men should know him....but all do not likely get a letter from him. A letter that is not such a good thing to receive, I might add! Stuart, my first son to turn 18, apparently did not go by and sign up with the Selective Service. hummm....Yes he knew, but as with many of my guys, the knowledge of "needing to go by and do this" did not really throw up any red flags for him. The "Failure to register with the Selective Service is a Federal crime punishable by a fine or imprisonment.....Our objective is to register you, not to have you prosecuted." kind of threw a flag for Stuart:)

I texted to today to be sure he DID register. You can do so online at http://www.sss.gov/ . He did. He will not be paying a fine or going to jail.

I am glad William A. Chatfield sent Stuart a letter! It was kind of him to remind my unknowing draft dodger!!!

Preteens

Of my three middle school children Mercedez is the one who is operating on the highest level of trust. She is a neat young lady. She does seem to have it all in place:) The other night Jacob and Preston took her to a middle school basketball game (my friend was there and Mercedez was with her and she brought Mercedez home). As the boys pulled up at the gym they asked her if she wanted them to walk her in? She quickly replied," NO!" She felt her the boys would embarrass her:) LOL They likely would:) In fact, after her telling them as much it is simply a wonder they did not help her in!

Mercedez is living up to my expectations. She, unlike my other middle schoolers, "gets" the whole trust equation. She understands that her actions directly impact her life (good and bad).

As I watched Sarah the other night at homecoming I mentioned to Chelsea that it would be along time until I have another girl who is a Senior. Six years. Of course, when my girls arrive there I will have 2 seniors, one junior, two sophomores and an 8th grader. That will be something I am sure:) It is nice to have this sweet girl leading the way. If past and present are any indication she will be a very neat neat young lady!! I plan on having several:)

David and Goliath

I have a lot of children:) I have kids doing the right thing all the time. I have kids sliding under the radar all the time. I have kids flat out breaking rules all the time. It is the mix. It is life. I sometimes feel like I have corrected kids all day....and I have, just usually not the same child. Some days the kids work together is such a way that I am totally impressed! This is just life.

I have to really struggle sometimes to let go of one frustration so not to bleed aggravation on someone who is undeserving. I have learned to use my words very well. I mean what I say. I rarely forget what I say. I likely need to begin taking ginko balboa...lol:) Just as insurance!

The last couple of days have been fairly normal, yet with a couple of yucky moments! Summer tried to pierce Victoria's ear with an earring. You have to wonder about the goofy child who allowed someone else to do this!! I likely(positively) spoke more strongly to Summer than I ever have. She, seemingly understand my seriousness, did not talk back (she usually is quick to place blame or try to explain). She is no longer allowed in any room but Rosie and Mercedez's. I have talked to my little girls. Once again, an example that "age" is not an indicator of leadership. Well, perhaps poor leadership!!

I had a teenager, I will allow to remain unnamed, on the computer after hours last night. The same teenager I talked to about computer times last week. 11:30 is totally bedtime, NO more computer. This teen was on the computer at 1 am. I first asked him if we talked last week about computer times? He said yes and even repeated our times correctly. When confronted about the night before he tried to be evasive ""what computer?" "that computer?" "I wasn't on the computer." "I was only checking my myspace" "I couldn't' sleep" Which lead into my "so if you cannot sleep it is alright to be disrespectful to mom and the rules of the house?" Check mate!

Carlton is trying to move to a higher level of trust. I say trying only from the "I want them" standpoint, not the "I am earning them" standpoint. Today he came in with Ryan (after I called the boys in the house) telling me that Ryan threw a rock at his head. The very first thing that came to my mind was David and Goliath! Carlton easily outweighing Ryan by 3 times and doubles Ryan's height. Ryan did not deny his actions(thank you Ryan), but did explain that he was going to shoot the basketball one more time before coming in the house and Carlton was running at him and trying to take the ball away. Carlton agreed. He was. In Ryan's last ditch effort to get away he threw the rock and ran inside. Both boys are in the wrong. One 9 and one 13.5. Ryan took ownership, Carlton did not. I talked to them both about the actions and had them sit with me and read in the kitchen until dinner. Ryan read, Carlton held his book(mad). This is simply today. Tonight? Carlton feels he should have more privileges. After a talk with Scott and I we sent him to think of some guidelines for us, things we needed to see in him to show us he is trustworthy.

I wonder at times what my kids are thinking. I am not senile. I am not stupid. I do have resources. I do expect the truth. I demand respect. I expect to have a high level of trust with my teens! At this point, there is not a teenager under this roof who should not know that. I have likely told them all at one point or another "the truth is the only thing that will set you free"! There are always consequences, but the consequences sure can multiply quickly when you take the curvy road around the issue!

The road to Jericho

Yesterday our minister preached a wonderful sermon he had heard at EU. The sermon was originally given by Dan Chambers. It was about the "road to Jericho" or perhaps more commonly talked about as the "good Samartian" story. The lesson talked about the "road to Jericho" and where all it travels: through our town, our schools, our workplaces, our church, through our lives! David talked about putting aside self and doing for others, as is commanded. I agree with all that was said. We do have people each and every day who pass near us, to whom we are given a chance to help, to nurture, to bring to Christ. Of course there were responses at the end of the sermon...... We all know we are not perfect, there are always things we could have done, people we could have stopped and talked to:) There are open doors all around us!

The sermon led a little into a two day, two weekend workshop that we will be hosting in a few weeks. In the deacons meeting yesterday Scott was given more information about the weeks and the course study. The main point is helping us to be better ministers to others. To learn how to approach and bring others to Christ. So many people are intimidated or lost as to the "how's" and a couple of weekends telling and showing you "how" will be tremendous!

Scott asked after dinner, as we sat at the table, if I would like to go. I have to preface this with my weekend life: Every weekend on Friday evening Summer comes to stay for the weekend, adding another preteen girl to my already 6. On Sunday morning Scott picks up Thomas, our dear friend, and Thomas (Summers step-dad) and little brother Jonathan and big brother AJ. We have our 21 to get to church, plus at least 5 extras. Scott is over the benevolence and has requests and calls throughout the week. I have a multitude of teens who are not mine (mainly boys) every weekend at my house. I am thankful for those people. I am thankful for the opportunity to share my home and love. But, as I looked at Scott I had to laugh as I told him, "the day many come when I cannot find anyone to help, the day may come when the road to Jericho is not an 8 lane freeway speeding through my house, but right now? I do not need any more innovative ideas about how to find the lost, I do not need any more clues as to how to help others. Right now? I just need to see more people helping!" I LOVE my life, I LOVE my family, I LOVE those we are acquainted and helping (for they usually help me more than I help them!), but I do look around sometimes and wish that every family at church had someone they cared for that was not their "own". I know many many many who do! Our church family is very blessed with great servants of Christ!!

As David talked I thought, the road to Jericho is where ever we are! It is not a story we read about. It is not a place we visit. It is where we are today, it is the chair beside me, the next buggy in Wal-mart, the mom in she school line behind me......that road is where ever I am!!

After reading over my blog I realized I sounded like I "am done" helping...lol:) I am not, just as I said, I cannot overlook those who come into my life, I know Scott and I (individually and together) will continue to serve. I just seem to attract plenty all by myself, so I'll pass on the weekends of study:)

ZITS

I sometimes think my life would be great commentary for a comic strip. If only I could draw:) Tonight at church Dennis Rinks brought me this comic strip. I have never read it, but I KNOW these people have to have teenagers...lol:) It is too cute to not share!

The comic is "ZITS" written by Jerry Scott and Jim Borgman:)

Chicken Soup

I love this book! I bought it for Isabella to read aloud while we are traveling. We have spent some time in the car and she needed to be doing something! I love the Chicken Soup books, although I have to admit that they nearly always make to cry. I remember the first book I bought in this series, it was the Mothers Soul one (I am sure there have been many additions, but this was the first). I bought it my trip with Scott to Hawaii. I cried and cried. (lol) The stories were so great, but touching. Scott read a couple (after laughing a little at me) and he cried. I have decided that Chicken Soup books are to be read in private for me!

As Isabella read (and it is always tough to get too involved for me when kids are reading aloud) I was so touched by the first story. At the end of the book Bella as turned and asked me a question....I had to gather myself to answer. I laughed and told Bella "That was just a happy story that was a little sad". I really do not think that she has been "touched" by the books, yet this morning she was asking me about a word(it is an ambitious book for a 4th grader) and I realized she was nearly through! She has proclaimed we need to buy all these books! I will have to buy tissue as well!

I will buy more. The love of reading is such a wonderful thing! If I can instill that in my little ones then I have given them a great great gift:)

Congradusorry

"This is one of the occasions when my favorite word is used, congradusorry. It is a word I made up for good news at the wrong time, or bad news at the right time." Tina, Georgia

How ingenious! I love this word! I kind of thought of it when Rosie "won" (earned) the floor cleaning award for her behavior this morning. Or when Tasha "won" the prize and was able to clean up the kitchen tables after lunch. I will appreciate the congrad part and they will come to understand the sorry part. Bad news for them, but certainly at the right time!!

I think there should be more congradusorry moments when it comes to behavior! In part, I think there should be BIG "awards" for bad behavior, then their efforts will never be in vain:)

I am beginning to come to this conclusion after many years of "ignoring" such monumental moments. I may respond and a consequence might be given (when necessary) but never in this way. Not drawing attention to them. I have always thought the Chinese method of ignoring bad behavior and only rewarding good is really neat. But, as with most parenting methods, it is not singularly successful with every personality. I doubt my "congradusorry" awards will work with all either, but, if it stops one person long enough to see the ere of there ways? I will be glad.

Special Friends

After the coronation Scott and I hurried out to make the retirement dinner of our dear friend and Scott's co-worker Bobby Parrish. Bobby is the life of the party where ever he travels. Tonight as we listened and laughed with him we really began to realize how much he will be missed! Bobby is a very special friend and we pray his retirement will bring him much joy and happiness!

Basketball Homecoming 2008

Tonight Sarah was crowned 2008 Basketball Homecoming Queen. It was a neat night for everyone! It is always so great to be able to share special moments with family:)

Mercedez wanted to take her picture with Sarah before leaving home:)

This is the 2008 basketball homecoming court....these girls are all such good girls!!

Joseph escorted tonight as a basketball member. I caught him with Sarah before coronation.

Joseph escorting at the basketball game:)

Sarah and Brett Carnal.....Brett and Sarah have been friends forever(lol)...they sat side by side in the nursery at church 18 years ago.....now they will be graduating together!Sarah and Patrick:)
Chelsea and Sarah ....aka....my big girls.....they are both so very different, yet they prove that there is no one road to success! Each so unique and each so wonderful:)

Rain

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass....

It's about learning to dance in the rain."

I just finished writing about perspective, and this quote jumped out at me as I read a daily devotional. People always wonder about my life.....you know all the "how do you do everything" questions. First of all I am not God:) I cannot do everything! But, I do a lot with what I have. I do not wait for storms to pass to enjoy my life! I do believe that everyone moment of everyday is special. If we wait for "perfect" moments, for rays of sunshine, unfailing happiness? Well, I imagine, first of all, we would be waiting a very long time! But most important to me.....we are wasting the moments we do have! Happiness is where we choose to take it! It is a choice! And thank goodness God gave us the ability to choose for ourselves how we behave.

To some this is a handicap....My Carlton pushed a boy at school this week. Why? Because if he didn't he was going to hit him. I cannot tell you how many times we have talked about "fighting" about what constitutes a fight. We have said many many many times "Do not touch others in any way!!" I think shoving constitutes touching. Carlton has the ability to choose and uses it poorly.

I can remember trying to teach this concept to Samuel years ago. he was in kindergarten and struggling. Scott told him everyday day to not let others affect him. One day Sam got in the van and said with a big smiling face "mom, I didn't let nobody mess up my day!" He got it! Perhaps only that day:)

How we choose to be is not an accident.....we choose!! It's called "free will". To some "attitude". I dance in the rain, in the snow and sun.....I try to never let my moments pass without "making my day" what I want it to be!

Perspective.....

I have always thought that perspective is an incredible tool....it sure works for me. I truly feel I never have to look very far to find someone who has greater needs than mine, to find someone I can do for or serve. I do think service is a God-given gift, a gift to those who receive, but just as surely a gift to those who give!!

This morning I was reading about my kids friend Aaron Bell. Aaron is an incredible young man! He is fighting cancer with a style that is unique and all his own! He has so many people watching and praying for him! He is certainly a hero! His mom was posting this morning about a site she wanted to share and I "clicked" to find this mom, a mom who is serving others (it really works!). She asked for you to click here. Here you find yet another mother who is serving others. In a beautiful example of "motherhood"!

Our wonderful friends in Henderson, the Cravens family, have a BEAUTIFUL daughter who is also battling cancer. You can read about Natalie here. Natalie is one of those girls who everyone loves! Babies, young children, peers, parents, elders, everyone! Please pray for Natalie and Aaron!

I know that children are fighting battles everyday. Parents are as well! Our dear friend, Libby Jerrolds is fighting as well! Libby's son, Spencer has grown up with Sarah (they have now been named "Mr and Mrs HCHS" together). Libby has two of the most beautiful (inside and out) girls you will ever meet. Her husband David is one of a kind! They have a beautiful granddaughter Isabella and Isabella's mom (Leigh Ann) and dad(Jacob) are welcoming another sweet baby in July. Pray for Libby! Libby has been one of our high school guidance counselors for longer than I can remember, teaching for 26 years. Pray please!!

Perspective has me thinking this morning. What examples of God word these special people all show!!

"I can do all things through him who strenghtens me."
PHILIPPIANS 4:13

They ARE doing all things.....and I am in awe!! Love you all!!

Girls night out!

Tonight about 20 of my friends from church gathered at the Hardin County Bank (courtesy of Cruise Director Tammy) and crowded into cars together for a night out. We do not get them often but we sure know how to have fun when we do! We went to Sweet Peas and had a great meal. They opened up a side room and we were able to visit and have fun(and eat!). Then we all went to see the movie 27 dresses(definitely a girl flick...so apt). I smiled as I walked in to see Jacob and his girl friend Kelsey:) We all went on through to the movie, being right on time we all ended up sitting on the 3rd and 4th rows. As the movie was beginning Jacob walked in front of me, handed me a coke(a boy after my own heart) and he and Kelsey just plopped down! Right in front of mom and her 20 friends:) As I left I had several friends comment that their kids would have been mortally embarrassed.....not my Jacob! Then as we made our way out of the theater John slid up beside me and gave me a hug, he had watched one movie and was staying to watch another. He walked out with me, talking to other "moms". As I entered the lobby one friend smiled as she commented "You can't go anywhere without kids Amanda." Seems true.....but I sure do have some awfully neat big guys I love very much!!

Sam

Sam is now at Youth Village. Yesterday was a very long day. But, it is my deepest desire that it be the beginning to a new future for Sam. They have such a success rate! i want Sam to be among those who can change their future with help and guidance. Scott and I, by no means, profess to know all! If anything, I think the longer I parent the more I learn that "I need to know more"!!

Sam was excited. In a very RADish way. He hugged me (or rather I hugged him), and he was good to go. In his mind simply a new adventure on the horizon. I sure hope it is a new adventure!

He wrote me a letter on the way and passed it to me in the van "mom, you are the best mom. i love you. i love your cooking. love, Sam" I smiled and thanked him. As they asked him a billion questions he changed his tune. The "does your mom listen to you?" was a "no". I always listen to my children and answer. But, when Sam (as is typical) asks the same question, that I have already answered, 16 times? I can agree with the "no". I likely did not answer the last dozen. I refuse to answer questions screamed at me as well (unless blood or bodily harm are part of it).

I also filled out a form about my parenting. I hate these. Questions that must be answered "strongly disagree, disagree, agree or strongly agree". Followed by questions like: "A child should always obey their parents" or " A good child does not wrong" . Come on...lol. I am so analytical I do not do well on these. I found myself to be pretty "disagreeable". Key words like "always, good, bad, only" are not my kind of words.

Sam sat with the nurse, and answered questions. The man asked if he had ever wanted to kill himself? Sam shrugged and replied "yeah". The man looked shocked (an act I am sure), and said "you really do?" To which Sam shrugged again saying, "when i get mad i want to". The man asked if he had any plans to kill himself? Sam said, "well sometimes I hit my hand in the wall real hard". The nurse said, "That won't kill you Sam". Sam shrugged again, agreeing. Of course the nurse has not seen Sam's paper where he tells about stabbing himself with a knife, nor did he see the hammer and poles I drug out of Sam's closet hidden under clothing.

We will be involved in weekly family therapy. I really do look forward to it!!

heart vs. belly

Seth, my youngest child, does not know he is adopted. It has not been intentional, but I do not talk about my children being adopted very much. Not with them. OF COURSE I do if they are asking or bring it up themselves, but we are a family, adoption is simply the means in which we were created!

Seth, my youngest adopted sisters bio child(a mouthful!), was loved and cared for by me before he was born (as I ministered and helped Christie) and from the moment he was born. I breastfeed him, held him, immediately loved him:) From the time he was very small he could answer my question "Who gave you to me?" with a sincere "God did!" and follow up my "Why did God give you to me?" with a "because God knew I needed you and you needed me!" I laid the ground work for my telling him someday....lol...or so I thought. I even talked about "where you grew" and we talked about him growing in my heart. But, my goofy little guy is so grounded and so confident (and truly not yet even understanding adoption, again....we just do not dwell on it here) that I am struggling to share with him.

He snuggled up to me the other night as we read a bedtime story and after the story we began to talk. I asked if he knew what adoption was? Nope. So I explained that when a baby was adopted they grew in their mommy's heart and not her belly(trying to keep it simple). He looked up at me with confidence and said, "but I grew in your belly!". The mom who loves this child so badly wanted to say "Yes you did". I immediately thought of my friend Laura and her discussion of birth days and I decided, at that one moment, I really don't care where I was that day they were born, I don't care if "I" have memories, I just want to be able to tell my child they came from me, from my love, from my desire to care and nurture them. I wanted to share more than my "heart". I want them to understand, as I understand, that I love them with every fiber of my being! Birth does not add to or take away from that love!!

You have to know that Seth knows that mom's go to the hospital and "get babies". He still (blame me again) thinks they just come out of your belly:) I have to laugh thinking of the last time I attempted to talk about this....it was crazy, ending with me deciding (I think wisely) to wait! I answered, "no Seth, you did not come out of my belly." He immediately jumped up in the bed, looking at me face to face and very excited and amazed said, "They took your heart out!!". I was stunned. I quickly said, "No Seth they did not take my heart out." To which he flopped back down, picked up the book and was finished with the talk. I did not push. But, I have decided I need to really think about my next approach....lol....I am not so good at this!! You would think after 17 I would have it down pat!! But, throw in one child with an active imagination and I am stumped!

I love my children. Who wouldn't, they're great kids :) I can now see how mom's and dad's would let a child go their whole lifetime and never tell them they are adopted. Not out of selfishness, but from love and concern. I want all my children to be confident, to know that God truly "don't make no junk"!! EACH one of them are blessed beyond measure. Each one has gifts and I do believe in some of my children's case, that gift will be empathy and understanding. They will be able to minister in a way that will reach and uplift others. I know this, I have seen the strength and faith they have:) It is the very thing I wish I could take away that gives them an edge, a path in life that is unique and special. I am sure, when I find the words, the same will be true of my little Seth:)

WHERE is the respect???

This kind of thing makes me very angry as a Christian. But, even if I were not a Christian, even then it should still frustrate me!! WHERE has the respect gone?? I despise adults (or I should say "so called" adults) who so blatantly spew disrespect!! It is enough to make me boycott ESPN. I have cable, I am picky about what we watch, but I pay for the service. It is sickening to pay for disrespect and filth! I expect it on soaps and crime nowadays, but sports?? I know there are high running frustrations, big wins, screaming and yelling, but cursing Jesus? A line, certainly in my mind, must be drawn. As a Christian it must speak of me, of my resolve when matters like this come to attention. I wrote my letter to the President of ESPN. I explained that sometimes an apology is not enough. "I'm sorry" is not good enough at times. There are consequences, good and bad for every action I take. In the case of this anchor? Good grief!! She crossed the line not simply with her cursing Jesus (as if that were not bad enough), she, through her drunkenness, has offended the mother in me!! I NEVER want my boys (or girls...obviously it happens!!) to believe that being "drunk" is an excuse to their contemptible behavior!! It is NOT!

Cake cake cake

The kitchen filled with smoke as Doug blew out candles! Our first year Doug has been with us for his birthday:) The first year in eight(or Doug thought that many) since he had blown out candles! He has not forgotten how...lol!

Sarah, in one of her blond moments, told me this afternoon that Doug yelled Happy Birthday to her in that hall at school this morning and she yelled "Happy Birthday Doug" back at him, thinking it funny. She then told everyone it was Doug's birthday....again, thinking she was pulling a great joke. All day long when she saw him she yelled Happy Birthday and others hearing it would wish him well too. Goofy Sarah thinking she had pulled the funniest joke. In typical blond fashion, the joke was on her! As I explained she laughed and said, "I am, like, the luckiest person I know!!" rofl! It seems so:)

The kids are always happy for my "birthday" kids, the singing was especially loud (a crazy Smotherman tradition). It was very nice, in a very loud kind of way:)

Dream House?

This house is beautiful. I love it. Who wouldn't? It is not my dream house, although I have signed up everyday....well, everyday I remember (lol)! I dream of the things I can add to my house if I won then sold the "dream house". I truly only dream of a kitchen. A big commercial kitchen. With an oven bigger than 22 in. and a deep sink and a huge stove top to accommodate big big pots:) That is my kind of dreaming...lol:) I dream of a place to work. Kinda ironic, yet this is the place I spend the most time with my children, and my friends. It might be a workplace for many, but my kitchen in truly the heart (and stomach) of my family!!

Happy Birthday Doug!!!!

Today is Doug's 17th birthday!! A very very big day!! As we were talking yesterday Doug said he thought his birthday was the 24th (making me panic and feel bad for having it wrong!!). Last night when Scott got home he unlocked the filing cabinet and pulled Doug's birth certificate. Sure enough it is the 23rd, but his mom celebrated it on the 24th (she said she got mixed up). I am thinking both days might be good:) At 17 I don;t think you mind having two birthdays in two days!! lol

Happy Birthday Doug!!

The waiting game...

Yesterday before Scott left for home our worker at Youth Villages called and told Scott that our BCBS had approved Samuel and we had only to get Medicaid's approval. She asked if we could be on standby and be ready to come this morning as soon as she called. Scott told her yes and I have been on standby all day. Bella has been doing her work, and doing a wonderful job (not surprisingly)! Sam has been all over everything. Currently laid out on the couch asking "when do we leave??" with Busy Izzy reading her social studies.

Sam has brought toy after toy to me today wanting to take them with him. I told Scott at lunch that I really think he believes I am lying about not being able to take it all. I even showed him the list. We have everything packed and ready.....maybe today?? Although at this time of day Scott will be able to take off and take him to Memphis instead of me. It is a good 5 or 6 hours round trip drive ....and that is not allowing any time there. It might be tomorrow....I think I have been saying that for a week!!

Senior Sarah

The Senior year is winding down (or winding up) for the beginning of the end. It is so hard to imagine that my little girl is graduating! She texted me this morning to tell me that she and Patrick (her boyfriend above) have been elected "Most Likely to Succeed" together. And that she and Spencer Jerrolds have been elected Mr and Mrs HCHS! Spencer and Sarah have been together all their lives, beginning in the nursery at church.....they sure have grown up!! They are pictured below:) Sarah has had an incredible year!!

eBay Motors

Jacob is selling his car on eBay! We have tried selling in the yard and not been very successful, so eBay it is:) Last night we logged in and began the auction. This morning Jacob had a bid!! He is very excited! Hopefully by this time next week the auction will have ended and Jacob will have, at very least, gotten his money out of his play toy. As 16 is fast approaching (March 26th) he is seriously contemplating his vehicle options.

We visited with a friend of Scott's who owns a car lot while at the Chamber meeting the other night. He assured Jacob he could stop by and look or drive anytime, then told Scott and I he did not push sales! We smiled and I had to laugh as I replied, "A teenage boy does not need a sales pitch!".

life skills

My children all have great cooking skills! Now, I do not let my 6 year old and 9 year olds (as in the picture) brown ground beef alone, but someday I will:) I hope to have, and do have, some super efficient cooks!

"the meat is red until is cooks good ...then it will be brown." Seth, age 6

I had to smile as Seth "splained" it all to me! He is my self-proclaimed "browner guy":)

I tell myself that someday my daughter-in-laws with love me! My guys can do anything "girly", you know, all the cooking, cleaning, washing clothes, cleaning things. Granted, their clean is "boy" clean, but it can be done. They are competent. They will not expect some sweet girl to do everything for them like mom....lol...well, they might expect it, but it will be on their personal expectations..... not based on experience!

Like skills are fundamental when raising children. The word "life skill" was not even created 50 years ago. There was a time when children had chores and in turn understood the workings of a home. Today, too many mothers and fathers do for their children to the point that the kids cannot do for themselves. It is NOT a blessing! Life skills are just that, the things that get us through life! Skills that allow us to bath ourselves, to feed ourselves, to dress ourselves, to wake up in the mornings, to be independent.

A six year old should be able to make a sandwich, fix cereal or pour a drink. As our children grow so should their abilities, their capabilities.

All my middle school kiddos wash their own clothes. With that responsibility comes the understanding that it might not be done as "I " like, but it is done. I can tell you my kiddos pretty quickly learn how to wash special things and with that comes a little better respect for their clothing.

I may give all my kids a wake up call in the morning(one call), but the big kids have alarm clocks. They need to be able to set the clock and wake up all by themselves. This is truly a life skill!! My mother spent all my brother Randy's life waking him up for school. When he graduated and she stopped? He could never make it to work on time. Mother always fussed and wondered why he couldn't?? He never learned. Randy missed that life skill! Employers would say "Once he gets to work he does a great job". So, Randy found the perfect job for him.....he went to work on the boat:) He only had to arrive on time once a month! lol All laughing aside, the ability to get up and get where you need to be in a timely manner is a life skill!

Life skills are a big responsibility of parents, one I take very seriously.

Chelsea

Chelsea is back at college. Her migraines doing much much better! We still have an appointment with a neurologist later this month (Vanderbilt), but the chiropractor has made a huge difference! Pictured here with Dustin, who is still trying to recover from his awful viral infection! I would love this think that her migraines were simply viral too:) That they would play their coarse and be gone! They are getting better. I hope with school being back in session she will continue to feel better.

It is time to reapply for her internship and she will be re interviewing once again. Making music and normal (lol...Classes!!) activities are keeping her very busy. I sure have missed her after having her home for nearly a month!!

this that and the other...

I am up an going on yet another day with Sam at home falling apart and driving everyone crazy. I really wonder what will happen to him as he grows up. How society will be toward him and his behaviors. I actually know how it will be....harsh! Sam finds me very harsh, thinking that being held accountable in my house is tough. He has no idea of the accountability of his actions in a "real world". I know Sam is only 11.6, but already he and his brothers have shown that if you commit adult crimes, you will be held accountable as an adult. I am not sure Sam will ever be able to deal with the real world, with other people. Even harder is the fact that there are simply not many places for Sam to go as an adult.

Currently Sam is sitting beside me (his being in trouble actually afforded me the time to sit here and blog....that is the positive in the midst of strife!) screaming and hitting the wall. Occasionally hitting his head on the computer desk.....mad. Not acknowledging he is the one who began screaming and throwing things, in his mind, he is the mistreated. But, as he is not currently stable, he is here with me.

My sister Christie, is in Louisiana, now out of jail for the first time in over 6 years. A shelter called me and asked for information on her. Birth certificates, social security numbers, school records.... several different papers stating her mental state. Things that would help in finding her placements. Those dealings with that shelter have made me very aware of mine and Scott's need to document everything for Sam (and any child with issues). That documentation might be the salvation in days to come. I talked with Scott on the way to Memphis about being sure we have dx's all on paper.

My sister Christie is out and about, I do not think she is going to qualify for the home they wanted her in. I know that the shelter will not keep her to long. She, for the first time in a long time, is not calling me. I imagine she does not feel she needs me. I wish there were magic words to repair her losses, but as with Sam, there is no miracle cure.

Pajama day

Today was pajama day at the middle school and high school as part of Spirit week leading to Basketball Homecoming. School was canceled due to bad weather. So, today it pajamas day at home:) Seen above is Sarah, Seth and Ryan in Ryan and Seth's room. Sarah was voted to be the Basketball Homecoming Queen....a surprising honor after being Football Queen!

big boy world

When our counselor asked about Carlton's progress on our last visit I was very frank. Since Carlton moved up with the big boys there have been many improvements in his behavior. He has had to be accountable in a much greater way. His brothers have held him accountable as well! For the most part it has been a big positive. The flip side? Carlton's grades have slipped a little. John Redden asked, "When do your big boys do homework?" I had to smile, as I explained my homework philosophy. We have high expectations. I expect the boys to complete their work. I expect them to make good grades. I do not tell them "how". My teenagers do not have a "homework" time set aside. They each are so busy with sports and work and activities that there would truly be not one time for all to sit down. Each work independently. They meet our expectations on their own. The task is before them and how they chose to accomplish it is their own. If they ask my opinion I would be happy to help:) But, rarely do they. They DO make good grades through! For Carlton though, watching, there is little work done that he really sees. He can move from one room to another looking for someone "playing" and likely find them.

We talked about assigning a mentor to Carlton. Someone to ask in about his work, talk about how to get assignments completed, even ask him how he did them, all re-enforcing good behaviors. My choice was Doug. Doug is a hard worker. He gets his work done, and when he needs help? He signs up for tutoring (all by himself) at school, as he did with his Spanish tutor. He is not "perfect" but yet perfectly models a good student. He is also very responsible and has really been helping out with Carlton and his work. A BIG help!!! I am in hope that Carlton can continue to grow emotionally as he transitions into my "big boy world"! Again today I am very thankful for good kids, the ones who will step up and freely give of their time and self to a brother or sister!

Birthmoms

Stuart and Doug's mom lives down the block from us. Tonight Scott and I sat at the table talking with Doug about life, and some about his mom. We really don't see her very often. Surprising for a small town. The boys are so sweet (and I mean it sincerely) to go and visit her. They love her, unconditionally! That has been tough at times, yet that unconditional love has brought my guys a very long way. They love and value her. I could not be prouder of two young men!! Wednesday Doug will be 17 and Stuart is 18.5. They are nearly grown, and become more important to me everyday! I am grateful to be part of their lives....these neat wonderful guys of mine!! I know that in the future, these boys will have an empathy for others and the ability to help others in ways that so many cannot begin to grasp! They have had tough things happen in their lives and they have chosen to make good choices, to be who they wish to be!! Gotta love'em!!

MLK holiday

Today all my children are out of school for MLK holiday. Chelsea was here until mid day when she had to go back to college early to take pictures for Makin Music. Stuart went to Kentucky to his friend Ben's for the weekend. Today he ran home to get his references for his application to be a counselor at Mid South Youth Camp next summer. He loves camp and this would be his ideal job:) I hope it works out for him! Sarah is in Jackson with Kelsey looking for "high waisted" pants. Sarah picked up my newest free cycle happy!! A dorm fridge she can take to college with her!! What a neat catch:)

We are still waiting on Sam's insurance to go through, Scott and I have about decided they probably aren't even working today!

coats!!!

Tennessee is not the ice capital of the world:) My kids really do not ever see the need for coats. Mom does, yet it just does not get cold enough to get them into coats! This morning found the temp in Savannah 13 degrees!!! It was so so so cold! My children even thought is was cold!! These were going in and out pictures I snapped this morning:) I blogged them laughing at myself.....coats are just rarely seen here I thought I better picture it!

My girls:)

Last night Sarah called while I was cooking dinner to ask if there was anything she could do to help? I asked her to go by the church and check on my girls. The Savannah and Adamsville youth groups meet for dinner at the church building and play games until EU begins again in the evening. This is the first year my girls have been and I just felt like they needed a check-up:)

Sarah called back about 30 minutes later and said "I cannot find the girls!" I almost paniced, wondering were on earth they could be!! But, before I could say anything she followed with "I didn't see anyone from Madison". Then I realized she had been looking for the Madison girls and not my girls. I said, "Well, have you seen Rosie, Mercedez and Summer??" To which she immediately replied, telling me they were at the church playing with the youth advisors and having fun. lol

As I began this blog, I thought about "my girls". These girls are really mine....lol...for one nice weekend a year:) Right along with my other girls!!