You know that song?

"Times are filled with swift transitions...." That is how my day was...lol:) Transitioning from dinner to the ball field, for one ball field to another, and another and home (and then more coming home after the last game). We have transitioned from one thing to another. I took my little girls to their fields to ball games, stayed around and took some pictures, watched some game. Can you believe at one point the bases were loaded on the my BLT team(Bella, Lita and Tasha) and on the bases? Each base had a Smotherman girl! I think that was a first! I am so glad i was there to see it. My big boys pitched in to bring the girls to the little league field. I am very thankful:)




Scott got the girls off to the Middle School Devotional and then took Michael to his game. It was a good night. I am tired and ready to go to bed:)

MAY

May is promising to be a month I do not remember. Way too much squeezed into each day. With 3 high school graduates and one college graduate ....I am busy:) But this morning as I inked in baseball/softball games and highlighted teams I realize that the sports alone are going to be the most incredible test of time management and resources I have ever known. The highlighted areas? GAMES only. Most have an hour and a half time limit...thank goodness!! So the colors are our evening activities....CRAZY! Scott and I will likely not sit at a game together until June and only then because our games will begin to sizzle to an end. We will have to enlist ALL our big kids!

The saddest part about this calender is that if really holds nearly none of our "real life" scheduling. There is a small thing called SCHOOL and a few other seemingly nonessential activities:) I have decided my camera might blow up before we get this month over with!!

The glance back....

This is the "I just did something I think is funny" look you see on Sarah's face pretty often. She'll do something, in this case karate kick the car door close (and I missed that picture) but as she walks off she nearly always turns....and this is the grin. Unlike her other pasted on smiles...this is the genuine one:)

Slightly Anti-climatic

After several years and tries at talking to Seth about adoption he finally made it. It was slightly anti-climatic (which is a VERY VERY good thing!). My last talk, in a series of tries did not work out so I had really just stopped trying. But last night as I snuggled with him I told him once again that I loved him. We went through our age old "Do you know who gave you to me?" question. Seth smiled as always and said "God". It's then followed by "Why?". And Seth can easily reply "Because He knew I needed you and you needed me!". I smiled at the reply when Seth turned and said, "Am I adopted?" I know you might find it funny in a house full of adoptions....but adoption is SO NOT the focus of our life or talks...it is simply the way we came to be a family:) I looked at Seth and said "Yes you are adopted." (and waited) He said, "did I have a mom?" I smiled and said "yes, you had a birth mom." "What's her name?" Seth asked. I once again smiled and told him "Christie, she loved you very much, but could not take care of you. Christie knew that mom and dad would love you forever.". (and waited) He said "so I was like how old when I came here?" "I laughed a little (realizing our talks have been slightly undermined and set into play by a sibling) but quickly replied, "You were 3 days old." "ONLY 3 DAYS?" Seth was surprised. I told him the story of his birth once again, the same one I have always told him. I talked about being one of the first people to see him, of holding him and loving him immediately, of rocking in the hospital and bringing him home to brothers and sisters. None of that story changed, but his understanding was greater. I did the "anymore questions?....come ask mom if you ever wonder..." talk and he closed his eyes and went to sleep. Just like that. Slightly anti-climatic.

I have loved Seth.... well since he began growing in my heart even before he was born. His mother is my youngest sister Christie. I can remember Christie at that age. She was such a sweet and funny little girl. Her personality was so unique:) I love her. She has struggled with issues that are not issues of choice and I still love her. Seth is one of the sweetest gifts I have ever received. He is one of the best things Christie and I will ever "do":) I am so glad with this one sweet child of mine I have a story that is "complete". I wish I had that for all my children.

The picture?? Isn't it sweet? My first child, Chelsea and my last child, Seth....both BIG positives:)

Good workers?

I have some children who are really good workers and it goes without saying I have some who are awful workers. What separates the two? I'd like to say that it is something we instill...lol:) The truth is very simple....desire. You can have children who work because they have to, or to receive an all to wonderful privilege, but the ones who dazzle you with their helpfulness? Its all about desire. I do think you can kindle that in children, just as surely as you can snub it out. The picture above? Definite kindling. Seth is full of desire. At 7.5 he feels every bit as capable as the other "little kids". He loves to help dad and he truly coveted the privilege of mowing. Scott and I sat under the shade tree beside the ball field and watched. I can tell you that field should have been pristine by the time he finished. Except....an aerial shot would have shown a true representation of his efforts....squiggly and wiggly(he was most proud of his triangle..lol). I do know this will not be Seth's new chore:) Not for several more years! But it's a start. By the time he "can" mow? I think we might see straight lines.

Below? Same thing. Confidence. Growth. The "I am capable and useful"...and in this case? NEEDED:) Mercedez mowing the field (a tremendous privilege to "graduate" to the riding lawn mower!).

Desynthesizing

Ball season is likely one of the biggest tests of my patience. I have to really hold my tongue, practice deep breathing and look away a lot...sometimes even pick up my chair and move away. I know what you are thinking:) You are thinking I am a screamin' momma. The opposite is true. I love sports! I enjoy watching the boys and girls. What I don't like is listening to some parents. It is a test for me. I think over the years I have become much better at it. I have preached (and I mean preached) to my children..."You may only yell POSITIVE things!!". I can even give about 20 examples of acceptable phrases. My kids know that. I am very blessed with a husband who is positive as well. I was talking to him a week or so ago about a conversation I had with some friends regarding husbands and "sports tempers". Scott is nearly always calm. He has always has to ability to be productive coaching our children, not counter-productive. When I told him that he smiled slightly and said, "I had a coach like that(meaning temper tantrum thrower) all through high school. I think when you have a coach like that you realize what kind of coach you'd want to be. That is why I rarely throw fits." Scott has always been an excellent example to me and our children.

I came home Friday night from the softball game and fell down on the bed whining (yes it was really officially whining) about the parents. For real...do you think that little girl pitching is going to do better with everyone(a thinking error...but TOO many people) yelling at her "how to be better"? I told Scott I don't even know WHO her parents were! But if she were my daughter I would have been extremely tested. I finished my whining and then looked over at Scott who had let me carry on and I just smiled "I am very sorry to vent. I guess I just not desynthesized to parents yet."

I love sports. I love the healthy habits of teamwork. I just have a hard time with parents who make it life or death. It's not. It's a sport. I watched two teams yesterday...one with two of my boys and one with little boys we have played with for years. I was happy for each teams success. I watch my kids on our field play without pitting them against one another. Someone will win, they will win because they played better at that time on that day. I do very much see the benefit of good coaching. I see the benefit of hard work. I see the benefit of a job well done, a sport played hard. But when it is over? Take away the things that benefit you. Coaches will correct. Parents should love, care, support and encourage their children.

It has always been this way since the beginning of time (1995 when we began intramural sports..lol). I can remember one of my big girls playing basketball with a girl who always wanted to stay in the locker room after a game because(win or lose) the minute she got to her parents they began yelling. That child would come out of the locker room already crying sometimes. You know she is not playing basketball in college. She was a good player, likely one of the better players on our team, maybe she would have been a terrible player without all the yelling, but whose to say she wouldn't have been happier player?

I love my kids. I do want them to be as good as possible. Their own person best. Yet not at the expense of our relationship. Scott and I have said before, "we will likely never have a pro-anything athlete...we do have some kids with talent...but it will never be a priority. We will not play travel ball and miss church...we will not allow out lives to become consumed by a sport." We had so much rather have well-rounded happy kids. I want my kids to be able to pick up a bat and play softball with friends, shoot hoops in the yard, play football in the field, be competitive at "fox across" in a pool.....but being the best? There is always someone better and if their self-confidence and self-esteem is all wrapped up in ability or beauty? Those things can leave. They can change. The joy of team work? The joy of hanging out with friends and having fun? The knowledge that doing your best is enough? THAT is what life is about. At least to this mom:)

Saturday extras:)

This is new to the field this year...I sure did like it!!


Joseph, Doug and Scott....they look so thoughtful(or dazed).


John and his girlfriend Rachel came to watch ballgames today:)


Doug began his summer job! He was score keeper on the 7/8 field ...which means he will get to watch all Seth's games!


My "babies"...I love Victoria patting him on the back:) She was talking to him about the game and listening so well!! A neat sister!!


Silliness and Snow cones......

Opening Day 2009

Opening Day at the Little League feild is always a treat. The boys are SO VERY excited and everyone begins the season with thier first game! Ryan and Daniel's team played at 10 and Michaels team played at 10...so Scott and I were between fields with spectators siblings at each field (a very neat thing about having lots of brothers and sisters). Seth's game was at one. Sadly no one won. Gladly they all can do so much better and two of the three games were really close.

It was so beautiful today that many of mine are a tad bit (and some a lot bit) sunburned. It was a great day!

BLT ball

BLT (Bella, Lita, Tasha) Softball trio had their first game tonight. A little too late (meaning too dark) for great pictures. Seth, Stuart and I went to watch. It was a very good game.

Stuart and I were talking about differences between Softball and Baseball....perhaps one of the most physical differences is the field...baseball has DIRT and softball has BRICK. Tasha slid into 2nd base and came up bleeding. After cleaning her up a little at the field she came home, showered, peroxided and bandaged. She will live...although I do see a trip to B&J for sliding somethings (I am not sure what she needs but I am sure they make them..lol).

B&J

While it really seems that we would have a whole lot of hand me down sports equipment. But sadly, much like clothes, everyone is different. For the first time this year we have a black team...so black socks, black visors, black stuff.... We have heads that get bigger and everyone really does have to have their own helmet. I have made a couple of trips to B&J our local sporting goods store....one big trip with boys, one big trip with girls, and several small "forgot something" trips.

I was in the store Thursday morning getting the three pairs of black socks and I walked to the counter (exceedingly happy to ONLY have three pairs of socks). When I looked over at the cash register the last sale was still up...$1400.00. I said, "Are you serious? One Thousand four hundred dollars??? Goodness that makes me feel so much better!" Pam, the neatest worker who has been there for years, just smiled and it dawned on me "I bet it was a SCHOOL?!" She laughed and my "feel good perspective" was ruined! lol

I love sports. I do. I even love everyone at B&J. Might as well:)

Following directions...

I'm a stickler about public places and always having a buddy. (ESPECIALLY bathrooms!) Last night Michael and Daniel asked to go to the bathroom. I could see it...but it was a good ways from us. As I kept one eye on the game, one eye on the kids beside me and one eye(you know the third eye moms have?lol) on the boys at the bathroom....this is the picture I saw. Or I should say...this is the picture my lens caught.

Does it look like Daniel is "waiting in the bathroom with Michael"? The whole reason we do buddies is so you are not alone! Standing outside waiting to scare the brother who is running out because he thinks you left him....NOT COOL! I said as much (well, and perhaps a little more).

The faces of a spectator...

We will sit a whole lot of ballgames over the next couple of months. My kids are really pretty good campers about it. Although the face of a spectator is not always what you expect.....


Michael and Daniel were dueling on game boys:)


Seth? This is pretty much the face you will see at any game. Happy. He LOVES sports. He is involved and watchful. He is a fun spectator.


Mercedez was eating "Easter grass":)


This is my twins....Michael and Isabella.....rarely are they hanging out together, but for a few minutes tonight they were side by side:)

Tori's game:)

Tonight Victoria had her second softball game. We drove to Selmer (one of the reasons girls softball is slightly yuck is the traveling).I missed the first game last weekend while I was at the Ladies Retreat. So now, I have sat through a game and it feels official...softball has began! Tori loved it...of course Tori loves most things she does:)

Oh Lisa....

I always enjoy(is that even the appropriate word??) hearing from you. I suppose appreciate is a better word. I appreciate the understanding you give to me. I appreciate the common denominators in our lives. It's a thinking error on my part to say I "enjoy" reading about your struggles, but the understanding and concerns we have for our boys are so similar, I do like hearing from YOU (and am always sorrowful for the losses of your Daniel!).Today as I read your comment I decided the comment box is way to small for a response (and it doesn't have spell check!). So here it is.....

So, do you think Zack will ever be able to make good choices?

No. I do think he should be able to make better choices. But I really do not see a life filled with appropriate responses and good decisions.

He has the opportunity to go places with his therapist that he is supposed to "earn" - he'll never earn the right to go. Plain and simple. He refuses to even try.

You answered the concern. If Daniel refuses to try? It's hopeless. Without effort there is not likelihood of change.


He says that he should just get to go because he wants to and nobody else has to earn anything so why does he? He truly does not acknowledge all of the things the other kids do in a day that are appropriate.


We have this too. I don't compared my children. When I correct one, unless it is a public issue, I try to always do it in private. But, with children like your son and mine? They never see. Good for those who self-correct and move on, but hard for the ones who feel singled out. I know a couple of months ago (and I think I blogged about it) Sam was mad because I would not give him $10 for a No Bullying t-shirt they were selling at school. My prerequisite was that they had to earn the money through chores. Sam was at the edge of blow-up when I said, "BEFORE you fall apart you need to know that Tasha, Rosie nor Mercedez are getting one either!! NO ONE has earned the money." He looked around and dropped the subject. At times of calm and reasoning (such that it is) we should stop and compare. Not in a bad way....in a BIG learning way for these guys who need outside brains processing for them.

He thinks everyone is his friend too, and as long as they're giving him treats (even if it's just things they don't want or like or things they're in the processing of throwing away) they're his BEST friend. He treats people (his "friends") badly and then still claims they're his friends.

This is a combination of my guys. Zack TRULY thinks everyone is his friend...NOTHING is required to be his best friend. Sam only thinks people who are nice to him are his friend. If you have not given him something? You are not his friend. Polar opposites.

His home-based therapist stated the other day that maybe he's much more severely disabled than we previously thought - hmmmm.....I've known it for ages, I just couldn't get anyone else to see his behaviors for what they were.

Zackery's new worker is finally catching on. The toughest part for me is the "relearning" that new therapist have to go through. Or the re-telling for me. I tell the same stories over and over and until they are really questioning his motives? They do not see the losses. When they get it? They are profound.

He doesn't understand, he's just parroting back what he thinks he should be saying. In the situation, he cannot make the right choices. He has lots of people trying to help him and giving him tools to help him, but he has no clue what to do with them.

My guys are good at lists....rules....answers....they have had to recite safety rules over and over. But they do not follow those rules. The rules are abstract. I mean..I can say "no playing with sticks in the yard" but that really never occurs to Zack when he picks up a stick. I think impulse control (or extreme lack of it) is a equal partner in the toughness of life for my guys.


One thing that really irritates me is that I have people telling me to just give him privileges and "let him be a kid" with no accountability for his behaviors whatsoever and I just feel that it is so.....wrong to do that.

I think that people who do that(or say that...even think that), and there are SO many who do, are slightly lazy. It is ALWAYS easier (for 45 minutes) to give in to a child. And then they come back, a new desire. That kind of parenting is detrimental...to the PARENT. If my kids only came to me with hands out? If they did whatever they wanted? Gosh, I imagine I could come to really not like them.

There is a reality to rules. The reality? The world has them. You need to understand them. You will have to obey them or you can go to jail. Children have parents and homes in which to learn this. I have some good kids who I do not give in to....When I ask my " never cleans my messiest room" kid to clean their room before leaving for the ballgame? Which I do not do if we really need to go to the ballgame...remember the "mean what you say" thing? When said child comes to me and asks to go without following through? I say no. Now, when my "I never have a messy room" kid asks to go to the ballgame and I know they still have to fold laundry? I let that kid go. Why? Because there is an expectation that he/she will follow through. Past has shown them to be individuals who follow through. Children who have not "earned" a privilege do not deserve it. They do not need that privilege. My child who follows through every time but ran out of time today? They have earned it.

But, to turn a child with behaviors loose just because they deserve to be a kid? I think it's like turning an alcoholic loose in a bar just because they deserve to have a drink if they want one! It's wrong. I can see the big picture. Our children (and some adults) do not see that picture. It is an age thing. Young children do not always (and sometimes rarely) see the ripples in a pond. They cannot foresee a picture of events as we do as adults. I may be a terrible chess player, but in parenting(in life) I can see 10, 20 or even 30 moves forward. I do see the consequences of bad decisions.


I can't trust him at all to do the right thing so why in the world would I give him more freedom to fail when he cannot make the simplest decisions in everyday life?

While sometimes it really does seem to we working backwards to self esteem. Your statement rang true. As parents we do our best to enable GOOD results. We want our children to be successful. We want them to feel confidence. We want them to be trustworthy. Those behaviors are just that...behaviors. They do not just happen. They are taught. They are learned. You are right on with the concern for failure....we work so hard for success. In the case of my guys? Failure to keep them on the right path could end all hope for tomorrow. We all know the long lasting effects of some choices. I do feel it is our job to train and to protect our children. Even when they do not see it that way. Even when the world does not see it that way.


That's the problem with needing help (be it counseling or mental health services of any kind) - if the people you are working with don't get it, how does that help?

I have really found that the majority of counselors, certainly (I am not lying) all of ours have seen what I see. I think (and I am SO SORRY if you have not had this!!) that one of the most comforting things about outside help is that they eventually DO see the needs you see. I realize I am not crazy, I am not alone, I am not making this up....and when you find those kind of people to help you? THEN you have a renewed hope, renewed brain to help you, then you can once again move forward. But (and I have said this before).... we cannot change to past. We cannot undo damage done. We cannot change the behaviors of a pregnant mother or an abusive father. We cannot give back innocence or love lost. We can only work forward. . . we can make life better. That is the best we can hope for when loving any of our children, but especially the ones with losses.

Thanks for always commenting Lisa:)

First and last

Have ever noticed that parenting is full of "firsts" and "lasts"?

First smile, first laugh, first word, first step, first food, first trip, first day of school......it is truly endless!

Lasts are the same way.....last baby, last car seat, last one at home, last one to go to school.....endless!

It is the same for every parent, regardless of the number of children. Everyone has firsts and lasts (although some may have them at one time if they have one child).

I wonder if we can measure our thoughts of firsts and lasts like the "half full or half empty" cup. Which do you concentrate more on? Do you look at your firsts? Or your lasts? On the tail end of my parenting there are more lasts than firsts...perhaps why you find more melancholy parents?

In the picture above? My first loudmouth girl(lol..she is!), my first great Pyrenees puppy, my first daughter to play a softball game this year, the first time we held the puppies!

Last? Last daughter (of eight).Our last adoption. Last puppies (haha...I am planning that!!). Last picture I took with my camera of the kids and puppies....

I sometimes get caught up in the lasts...I wonder if that make me negative? I sure hope not. I hope it makes me stop and take a minute to enjoy. I hope that in my eagerness to get to a ballgame or graduation....I hope I stop and "seize the day" or at very least "seize the moment". I think this might be one of the reasons I love taking pictures. A picture truly seizes the moment for me...a click of the shutter and voila'....I have it. What joy. A joy I can visit time and time again. I have found those "lasts"moments sometimes later in shots. I might have totally missed the significance until I look back. I find the "stop and seize" many times as I sit at a computer looking through pictures.

Of all the earthly tangible things? Pictures are my most precious.

Accountability

I have over the years had to revamp and reword my thoughts on trust. I am really divided on the earn verses give debate. I do believe you earn trust. But I need to say that I have (right or wrong)in the past given my children (at appropriate ages) a level of trust they have not truly "earned" yet I feel they graduated to. If I let a 12 year old go to the movie with friends (frankly I haven't done this)alone? I am giving them a level of trust. They have probably earned it though good choices and good behaviors, but to me it is still a gift. Until I let a 16 year old drive away in a car, free to make their own decisions, I do not really know if they will drive carefully or be careless. It matters not how often they drive with me or Scott in the car....the true test is responsibility. Thus my trust is given. If bad decisions are made after that? My trust is removed and it is truly 'earned' back.

With some of my younger children, who have had a tougher time making average daily decisions? They will likely earn it all and I will not simply bestow trust. Much like all parenting...each child is different. Each person unique. I have not "raised" them all using cookie cutter parenting. Sometimes I have lumpy, too thin, too thick, burnt edged cookies!! I can drop twelve balls of dough by the spoonful onto a cookie sheet and not have even two of them cook at the same rate. Perhaps if I got better at dropping perfect dollops? I nor my cookies are perfect.

I currently have a teenager who laments over my lack of trust in him. Granted I have not stopped his activities. I allow him privileges. But, as with tonight, when he says "I will be home by 10" I expect him to do it. I did not choose the time, he did. I also realize that in the life of ANY person drama, excitement, shortcuts, detours and such can occur. BUT, if you are aiming to earn mom's trust? You mean what you say. You're home at 10.

To protect the not so Innocent teen I will not name names. Yet, I am blogging. Why? Simple. A written explanation. The spoken word sometimes is not as effective as the written word.

After thinking though the drama of a teenagers life I have come to this conclusion regarding detours......

If you feel that it is absolutely impossible for you to come home at the time we have agreed to? I understand. But know that there will be a consequence. If the need to help someone is so great that you decide the consequence is worth it? I understand. There have been those times in my life. Times I knew there would be a negative consequence because of my choices. I chose and I accepted. Simple process.

If I have a teen who does not make it home on time? You better have called mom or dad. May not change the consequence of missing a curfew, but will save you from doubling that consequence and adding the consequence of not communicating with mom and dad. Simple communication is a must.

No matter what life we live, no matter what our choices are....they are just that...our choices.

I do not hold anyone else accountable for YOUR(my child's) choice. I can remember dating while still at home with my dad. If we were late, or there was a problem? My dad would kindly smile and let the "friend" take leave....he never felt the "friend" was responsible for our actions. Again...choice. Dad always held us accountable for our own actions. If we did not make our curfew clear to our date? Not the dates fault...you got it...ours! Ownership. Responsibility.

So in an effort to notify all my teenagers of the "not so new, but apparently not understood" clause. Always communicate and any choices you make you will be responsible for. Pretty simple.

Wednesday....truly hump day:)

Sarah was home early this morning. Just in time for chocolate gravy and biscuits:) Wonder how she timed that so well?

She was very stressed over a paper she was writing. I had almost forgotten the stressed to the max, perfectionist, non-rational side of my neat daughter. Shew!
The paper was completed by lunch and immediately all was well with the world! Thank goodness! I can say the "all is well world" with Sarah is a whole whole lot of fun!

I had a voice conference call with Zack. There are lots of words to describe Zack. I am just a bit to tired to write them. He does not have a clue. Well, he does have a clue....they're just all messed up! He is not only unable to internalize his new tools, he cannot even distinguish them if he see them "working". For example
...everyone in his cottage is his friend. One peer tells on him and blames him for things he "didn't do"(he then said,"well sometimes I DO do them and sometimes I do not"). The peer who lies about him? "Is he a friend Zackery?" he was asked. "Yea, he is one of my good friends." Zack replied. "A good friend? Someone who tells lies about you is a good friend?" to which Zack says "yes". No concept. No understanding. He truly (and I really mean truly) does not get it. So this week they will work on it.

I talked to Carlton last night. He is working. He told me the list of things he did that day (cleaning back porch, cleaning carport, cleaning......) because he currently is allowed no free time. Why? He is failing a class. I asked if it was the same class he has struggled with this year? Nope. Math (which he is generally very good at!). What happened? Carlton said, "I don't know. It just slipped down". I guess so. Grades tend to do that if we do not do well in the class. It isn't really a big "surprise", it's reality. A very natural consequence.

It has really been a long week. Scott has been gone since early Monday. I will be so glad to have him home tomorrow night! Just in time for the weekend:) Opening day at the little league field and softball games as well.....lots and lots of fun. I am ready for the lots and lots of fun part.

Stuart's visit:)

Today Stuart came home, bringing his girlfriend Anna, for dinner and church. It was so so nice to sit at the table with them and visit. I know I likely wear everyone out saying it, but I really enjoy my grown kids. I love when they come home and I love listening to them talk about life!

I think judging from the number of kids I have growing so quickly I am going to have to get really good at stews and one pot wonders. I am going to invest in Dixie Cup paper products so I can pull out the paper stuff, scoop up the meal and then SIT:) Sit and enjoy:) Because my big kiddos do bring home lots of the "joy" part.

Also pictured are the ever present puppies:)

The field

Last year Scott built this neat baseball field for the kids in the back yard. Doug fenced it for waffle ball. And today, as a waffle-ball tournament approaches, Doug and Jonathan have been preparing the field. Doug even has sponsors;) I laughed and laughed as the kids came inside telling me. How fun big brothers are!!

Do you want me too....

Have you ever noticed that children (or people in general) do not want to follow the rules....YET....they are willing to try to get on your good side after not doing what they should have done to begin with by asking a 100 questions that start with...."DO you want me to....."??

I want you to follow the rules. I want you to obey. I want you to simply do what I say. (lol..my favorite)

I have children who will so simply and disrespectfully not follow a rule or a "suggestion" only to back up and want extra credit given. I think I would be a terrible teacher. I think the "You would not need extra credit if you simply did your work!" phrase would be my motto. lol

As a mother? I am thankful for teachers who give second changes to recoup losses. I should likely take a hint from them. But in my house? I fall short on the delving of extra credit.

One? It's not needed. I forgive the loss. I will forget the loss. But you will have consequences from the loss. Such is life.

Two? I had rather see a simple change of behavior than have you doing "chores" that truly do not change to course of your behavior. And do not help cover past your disrespect...see "one".

Three? I, and my kids know this, reward people who work independently without me asking or them bragging. A simple job well done is rarely overlooked by me. Nearly every morning my Daniel earns (wow...I LOVE that word!!) 50 cents for ice cream by loading and unloading the dishwasher. He does not ask me. He just does it. Yikes! Can you imagine the gall of such a young man? :) I do not reward the child that made 49 trips to their bedroom to put away THEIR stuff that was left strung from the back door...through the living room...and kitchen....stuff I threatened to put in the trash upon returning home from school. Put your stuff away. Goodness! Should have done it to begin with...what a concept!

I always wait for my children to catch on to this tid bit of knowledge. I would love to see them run wild with the thoughts and deeds of "earning"...haha:) I think the world as a whole would be such a better place to live! My house sure would be!!

Puppies:)

The puppies are two weeks old today(I think). Growing pretty fast and very sweet. Today was really the first day I have allowed them to pick the puppies up. I do know there are been some kiddos who tried to slide under the radar on that rule, yet officially the day was today. They are sweet. Now we just need to find them great adoptive families!!