The important things in life....

This morning I smiled so big as Seth closed the envelope on his letter to Caleb. I have everyone (or try to have them) write the address themselves. It really does make the letter neater. Seth has been writing the return address but I write the send address. Today Seth said, "I can do it all!" And I let him. I sure do love to see letters like this!!!

Family is so very sweet. Along with my family some of the most important things in life is/are the love, concern, companionship, and faithful hearts of Christian friends, our Christian Family. It's brought to our attention so often in sorrow and sickness. Also finding us in times of joy, in weddings and births and baptisms. I have found yet another time to be thankful once again for God's infinite wisdom and His love for us. God gave us family....today my thanksgiving is for that family for the eternal family:) I received this email (which is posted with permission):

BJ had another letter from Caleb yesterday. They are so funny. Caleb always writes about 5/6 sentences and draws a picture, He and BJ has a lot in common as BJ was in the Army, and did his basic in Fr. Knoxs. He and BJ talked a lot at the graduation party about things they would have in common. Has Caleb told you about Agony and heartbreak? BJ had told him about Old Misery. Caleb said he would be walking it before long. His letters/pictures are so cute. I will share them with you if your not hearing about these things. He may be writing you different things than what he writes BJ.

Love ya, and love your guy,
Sharon

Me? I cried. What else is a mom to do? I have my son, whom I am so proud of, who is so far from home. As (I think always) it is, I send letters nearly everyday. I print my blog and send it to him to keep him in touch....BUT we all know that "moms have to love you" and it just makes Caleb's day to have others write to him. I have had several tell me they wrote him and several mention his replies. When I received this email it was just a very firm affirmation that we are truly never alone. Of course we always have God, but we DO HAVE a family who loves us too...one even bigger than our immediate family. The ties of heaven are thicker and stronger and more everlasting that blood. They are made that way BY blood, the blood a a blessed Savior.

I find that when I count my blessings I need to never lose sight of the love we have in Christ....what a powerful strength! Today that strength was shown through a simple email. Thank you sweet sister!!

Granny Holt

This afternoon in the midst of Stuart leaving for an appointment with the oral sergeant about having his wisdom teeth removed and Sarah leaving for Sandy and Chad's and Jacob working and Scott at the dentist ....I received a call from the nursing home. They could not reach my dad and they were sending Granny to the hospital. Granny's stomach was hurting her and they had done all they could do. I told them I would meet her there. I hung up and called Sarah who stepped up and watched everyone for me. She postponed her fun day with Sandy, Chad and the boys (and I so appreciate the sacrifice!!) so I could go.

After about 4 hours of tests, blood work and waiting it was established that her trouble was related to her pancreas. Thankfully there were no stones! I really do not believe she needs to have to go through surgery and it was a blessing she can be treated without it! Sadly for her is the big Stricklin family reunion is this Saturday. I am hoping that everyone will just make plans to stop by the hospital and have some quality time with Granny. Even seeing people that way I sure do hate she will miss the get together.

I stayed until almost 7, they were taking Granny to a room and my dad and Clara Ruth were there to go with her. Hopefully after a couple of days of IV fluids she will be doing much better and can leave the hospital.

Ball Camp at our house:)

Today Dustin brought the kids to our house to play baseball on our little field. Ryan Miller and Michael Davis coached:) It was so much fun to watch and I know the kids had fun!! This is the whole group:



These are the guys and girls who hit homeruns during the ball game:) Michael (big Michael) began the homeruns with a homerun so huge it nearly went to our garden....HUGE:) The others did a great job of getting it over the fence and scoring big for thier teams!



And of course the coaches doing what they do so well, coaching:)



I have to blog these pictures. They are among my favorites of the day. Not my child, but my sweet friend Helen's cute grandson Cody. His expressions are incredible .... The best part(to me) is his joy! I love it!!

Catching up!

I have slacked on blogging the last couple of days. The anticipation of waiting for Sarah and then enjoying Sarah, not to mention my normal busy life has pretty much amounted to nothing blogged. I will try to catch us up:)

Tuesday I took Rosie, Bella and Victoria to Florence to buy school shoes and to stop and pick up my class book for the ladies class I will be co-teaching with Mitzi (beginning in August). While I was gone Stuart took the little boys to P3 (a laser tag and play place we have in town). Doug had Michael with him in Corinth but dropped him off for the fun on the way back.


Our children's minister, Dustin, has arranged a really neat sports camp for Wed - Fri of this week. The little kids LOVED it!!


Doug took Stella home so she could see her momma:) Stella's car is in Atlanta (as Chelsea drove it while they drove hers). Sarah and Stella arrived home early and Stella's car was not back yet! They arrived at Stella's safe and sound and will be back sometime this weekend:)


Sarah fixed herself a BIG cup of sweet tea:) And did a fairly good job drinking it. ... she did share:)


I spent the large part of the day laughing at this pair! Sarah and Preston are just two funny together. Sarah and Preston have been friends for so very long. They're very much alike and yet so very different. I missed Sarah's silly while she was gone. I missed the moments(or days) where she and friends laugh and carry on. It really was nice to have her home:)


Apparently they pulled Bella in to take pictures at some point. Below is the result. As I sat down to load pictures from my camera last night I realized they has take nearly 100 goofy shots..lol. I am not posting all those!


After dinner Stuart and I drove over to FHU to see Mercedez, Tasha and Mary Lita. I sure did enjoy the ride an the visit:) I never realized how much I would enjoy having grown kids. I mean, seriously, I imagined I would love having less at home (lol) and I imagined my "part" would be over. I do know, as I currently have 6 "grown", that my "part" does not end. Acutally, if you're very very lucky, the GOOD part begins. Last night I sat as Stuart drove. It was raining and yucky and not one time did the urge or need to tell him how to drive come to mind. He knows how! We talked for two hours (really special time)....how mistaken my young self was in thinking that grown was gone. Grown children just means a different take on parenting and I sure do love it!

Mercedez sang last night at camp....It was so sweet and I am glad I could be there to see her!! Thankfully Scott took our crew to church without me so I could be with the girls in Henderson! I did not get a good picture of Lita (she was out the door for ice cream to quickly), but did get one of Mercedez and Tasha and one of the girls with thier JC and one of Mercedez new friends. I smiled as Mercedez came up to me, arm in arm with her buddy Chelsea. The first words out of her mouth? "Mom, this is Chelsea. We have so much in common! We both have black hair and high lights, we are both 13, we are both adopted...." The list went on a while and at it's end Mercedez buddy said really quickly, "But I don't have a lot of brothers and sisters!" lol:) The girls are having a ball. Camp is nearly completely full and that just means more people to enjoy!



We arrived home about the same time Sarah, Preston and Seth got home from a trip to the Dollar Tree after church. Seth had ONE dollar and so very badly needed (lol...his words) to spend it. When I saw the bag I looked at Sarah (NO way that was bought with ONE dollar). She laughed and pointed to Preston who smiled saying, "His dollar stretched a little". Seth held his hands out about two feet apart and said ""about this much". The bag was full of wonderfully fun items. Three cans of silly string (can't wait), a dart board, a kazoo(which was tested and tried at 7:15 this morning), and the lovely facewear you see below! Sarah did not recieve any cool glasses and was pouting. Seth of course loved it all!!

Sarah is home!!

She made it home:) Arriving about 9pm after about, well after way more hours on the road than a momma wants to talk about.
The kids were all very excited to have their big sister home!! All talking at the same time trying to squeeze in a month of stories. Sarah listened patiently, looked at all the treasures acquired and watched chin ups:) Seth breaking his record and hitting 18, Michael going for 20 (and made the last couple with Sarah's help). The evening ended with a big slumber party in Sarah's room:)

hummm....

I had someone send my a facebook friend notice and with it a very nice message. Part of it mentioned my "positive attitude" ... I read that message right after my "venting" blog. I almost clicked over the erase the venting one. I suddenly had someone telling me how positive I am and I just whined? lol:) Ofcourse how can there be positive without negative and all that?:) Truth is pretty simple. I like most people I know who are parents (see I did not use a thinking error and say like everyone) get frustrated. I am just as capable (maybe more) of a large emotional range as my children. Mine is usually intact better.

There is negative in my life. But there is also so much positive. I try very hard to show the "good" side. I compliment when I should and I praise when I should and people who read my blog will tell me how wonderful "so and so" is:) I have to smile and sometimes just laugh. I rarely now vent about my "so and so's" too much on here. I have many many readers now, so different from years ago. On one hand I sure don't mind (aka...very nice comments come my way) and on the other I sometimes think I need a venting blog and a loving blog. A Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde duo:)

The "negative" issues that make their way here are common knowledge. They are the things my whole family knows about and are not private. Usually not private because they are public transgressions. You will find those here.

My goofy guy who is hoarded and gorging? Not talked about here. It is more private. But, you have to know that those things happen too. No perfection in this house....nor anyone!

That said, I spent an hour with Sam on our family session by phone today. I drive to Memphis every other week to see him and we have sessions by phone on the odd weeks. Today Sam was upset that I was not coming to visit him on "visiting day" (which is every Saturday). He asked me to come. I have to back up and tell you that in the last few days Sam has really acted out. He has been in a hold (which they called to inform me about), that episode lasting over 4 hours. He has "chosen" to not behave. His words are and were repeated today, "I can behave I just choose not to." I just want to know (as does everyone involved in his treatment) WHAT makes him want to and what makes him choose not to?? It really is the question. When Sam said he missed me and wanted me to come and visit I responded (in long form), "Sam , I am glad you miss me. I am glad you want to come home. But you need to understand I will not drive to Memphis and visit when you are not doing your part. To me and dad the most important part is treatment and we will be there for your sessions. If you want to see us? Show me you really mean it. Choose to behave well and choose to earn passes. Whether I have time with you are not is totally chosen by you." Goof grief, that is tough love. It is hard to say.

I thought about Caleb who has chosen to serve in the Army and is so far from home, alone, yet doing the right thing!! Seeing him is not a choice. I love him whether I see him or not!! I told Sam the same thing. " I love you and will always love you. I do not have to see you to love you. It just is." That is how we care for our children. It really never goes away. Well, my oldest is just 21 and I do not see it fading:) I am assuming I will love my children dearly until I die. I will also assume that I can continue to love them weather they deserve it or not, whether they are doing the right thing or not. I will love them....period.

Parenting is not so hard and incredibly hard all wrapped up in one. C'est la vie!!

hard to believe....

It is really hard to believe that summer is coming to a close. July is at a close and the first of August brings a return to school. I know those first few weeks will be gone before I know it! Everyone will be back at school, Caleb's graduation will coincide with my college kids return to school....which will throw us right at Labor Day and the closing of the pool. Tonight Scott and I took 6 kids to swim for a while. It was really nice:)

Venting

My time. I find myself suddenly bombarded on several coasts: Family, Friends, People... I enjoy helping others. I do. But, with my busy lifestyle there HAS TO BE some exercising of NO. I rarely exercise that when others need help. Yet my "help stash" is in debt. I have spent a large part of the summer helping in one way or another. Some I have done because I wanted to, and some out of obligation, and some out of pure service.

On days like today I am itching for "just my family" which to me seems so calm. (Now you know I am crazy!) I had to tell several people no this week. It's yucky. But come on! I do like children (although I jokingly told someone the other day that for whatever reason it is believed that I LOVE children...that is a misconception..lol). But I am so busy that MY children are the ones who demand and occupy my time. And that is as it should be! I had one friend who has all but asked me to babysit for her. No no no no no no....NO desire. Yep her baby is adorable...matters not. I do not have time. I would and have helped out in emergency situations.... to me that is different.

It weighs heavily on me...the desire to help others....and the desire to be left alone. I really believe as Christians we do have responsibilities. I know we do. I only get frustrated with those "desires" to help are abused. I say that knowing that I am a little lopsided on the "abused". I truly almost (here goes that word that is a thinking error) never, ask others if I can drop my kids off. Just don't and can't. If I did to others what others sometimes ask of me? I would be reported to child services. Actually I wouldn't. I would be "placing them in a situation where they would be safe and cared for", it's just frustrating to those dumped on.

So in case you haven't figured out. I'm tired and I'm venting. Hope you didn't need me for anything this week!

Happy 20th Birthday Sarah!!

Today my Sarah turned 20. I will not bemoan time or throw out platitudes, but it was at 7:07 am on the 27th of the 7th month that my second child was born. Speeding in barely 20 minutes after I entered the hospital, sure I was in false labor. The best "beginning" of all my children:) She has been unique all her life. Today she is at Mount Rushmore. Hopefully she will be home in the next couple of days. We will be having a BIG welcome home/birthday party!!

Joy:)

Today Scott came home! It has been a very long week without him! It's nice to be busy (haha...perhaps because I have long forgotten what "not busy" looks like!) but it is always nicer to share those busy moment with someone else.

My guys have stepped up and helped out with Dad gone this week (they are kinda good like that!). Doug took the boys, Michael and Seth fishing for several hours yesterday.

After the boys got home from fishing we all went swimming. Skylar, my nephew, was "with us swimming for the first time. He was pretty much fearless! Thank goodness for shark floaties:)

Today I had three girls go back to MSYC. I had three that did not. It was a very "joyous time" for three and the "world came to an end" for three. If truly should not have come as a surprise. It was an EARNED privilege. Earned first by good behavior during the first week at camp and second by behavior since that time. I can say in Tori's defense she is just too young to warrant another week. The un-named two earned the privilege of staying home. Chelsea had packed Mercedez, Tasha and Mary Lita before she left for her camp. The girls had no clue. After lunch I took them into the laundry room and made thier day:) We loaded up and headed over to Henderson. The girls were lucky enough to get Katie Beckham as thier couselor. Katie's sweet grandmother has gone to church with us (longer) than we have been in Savannah. A super incredible lady and it is very obvious it runs in the family:)



And .....

CALEB CALLED HOME TODAY!!

For a full 5 minutes I was blessed to talk with my neato son:) I sure did love that!!

Road trippin'

Victoria, Ryan and Daniel had a road trip planned with their youth group at church this weekend. Stuart (bless his heart) went with the group to help out. They are at Mammoth Cave (as I type) and will be going to Beech Bend tomorrow. I know they will have so much fun and I will rest a little easier knowing a big brother is with them!!

Fishing buddies!

Stuart and Doug have taken up fishing this summer. I am not a fisherman(woman), but I am glad my guys like it. Even more glad that they share the love with little brothers!! Tonight Doug took Michael and Stuart took Ryan, both going separately. My little guys got lots of one on one time. I LOVE that kind of fishing:) I am going to have to catch them headed out the door with poles! I always miss them. Although they are great to text me pictures...I cannot figure out how to get those pictures to my computer. Anyone who has an idea feel free to message me!

Chelsea's Adventures....

Chelsea certainly has been in and out all summer. Today Jacob and his buddy Nick took her to Murfreesboro to visit (which really means play...I am so jealous!) with Grannie and Pa. She is going to camp next week in Kentucky and will be home in time to start working the following week. The picture above is everyone looking "nice" as they were leaving. The picture below is Jacob and Chelsea being silly. My children sometimes get a little tired of mom taking pictures and they act out:) They just haven't figured out that I love those silly ones every bit as much as the "nice" ones!!

My Granny:)

Today Chelsea and my 4 youngest visited my Granny. She is doing well. I really hate that I do not get by to see her more often. It is always a help to have kids in school so my daytime hours are a little less crazy. Granny is usually in bed by 7pm so no nighttime visits! We took some flowers and the picture of Caleb's platoon(I have no idea if they are called a "platoon"). It is always a joy to get spend time with Granny!

Cindy A

I blogged about my friend Cindy. Today I was made aware of this neat event for her. I would like to share it with you and ask that whether you do it or not, please remember Cindy, her family, her friends and her church in your prayers!

This is the wonderful site where you can read about the event:)

Ups and Downs...

This has been a rainy long day and it is barely 3 pm:) This morning I was up and out with Carlton to register at the high school. He is hoping to play football this Fall and football camp begins Monday. Yesterday Carlton made some bad choices while home with Chelsea. We had a tough talk (me, Carlton and Chelsea) when I got home. Senselessly dumb choices. I really was shocked, yet the ENTIRETY of it boiled down to respect. Yuck! Yuck! If mom has to have that talk with anyone! It's a "duh!!". No excuse. No pity is given to my children over respect. EVERYONE knows!! This morning found Carlton still sulky and with a hurt hand. A hurt hand? Why? Because frustratingly to me Carlton has made a bad choice. Now, I know I just finished my whole blog on understand that my kids will choose badly sometimes, but I am talking about LEARNING for your bad choices. Carlton hit his hand, in anger, because "I don't like being called a liar". Well, I don't like being lied to either, guess we would be even if not for the hand? I would think that he would remember this and this, both testimonies to the effects of hand banging. THAT makes me so very frustrated. I miss Scott on days like this. I miss his calm attitude and quick redirection. I KNOW Carlton does. But the truth is simple....Carlton HAS to be able to make GOOD choices on his own to have any of the privileges he is thinking are due him.

I was ever so thankful that Doug stepped in and took Carlton to the football field house to get his physical form (much cooler to have a brother than a mother). Doug took him by to check on the physical and is currently fishing with a couple of little brothers (who are likely in heaven...the "fish loving version" that is!). It always makes me happy to see big brothers step up.

Jacob babysat so Chelsea and I could go to wally world (shew!). I was so glad to get that two buggy trip out of the way!

John took his sister to her friends house. It is a Thank God for big brothers day:)

I have kiddos headed in several different directions this week. Three going to Mammonth Cave over the weekend, three going to camp, one going to football camp, another going to another camp....a busy few days getting everyone in line.

This surprise was waiting for me today in the mail:

How neat a surprise for me! Caleb is front and center on the first row: sixth from the right and sixth from the left:)

Days are always filled with ups and downs...I am ever thankful mine has more ups than downs!

Making it Right

Adopting/blending a family a with older kids can be challenging for everyone. Preconceived ideas go head to head against reality. Dreams verses dreams. Hope is not the same for everyone. It looks different, it's the thoughts/feelings of hope that are the common ground.

Of my older Incorporated kids the majority are pleasers. One of the reasons I have great kids! But with that "pleasing" is the desire to totally avoid conflict. I appreciate and love that desire. I like thinking that my children will walk away rather than confront. It IS a Christian way to behave.

As a mother there are times that issues MUST be dealt with. Running/avoiding is NOT an option.

Yesterday I had a couple "confrontations" (what I might consider correcting they see as a huge big ole confrontation). BOTH situations had me really upset and I did raise my voice. Go ahead and pass out, fall over and say "it can't be!"! For some unknown reason it is believed and even spoken, "Amanda is so calm...Amanda never loses her temper". Untrue, but that always makes me smile. Truly, do you know someone who NEVER gets upset? I don't. Amanda (me, myself and I) is/am very hard headed, very opinionated, and very confrontational when the situation calls for that. It the situation deals with my child and a danger? Well, those supporters of my loving patience might as well leave. I am not patient. There are SO MANY times as parents we just cannot be patient. Jesus was not patient in the Temple when he made a whip, overturned the tables and ran the disrespectful out of the temple. Jesus meant to make a point. And he did!

All that said, the toughest part of being mom is dealing with children who have fragile understanding(I guess that about covers all those fragile feelings)? If in my total humanness, I go to far, make them upset, say to much, place seemingly to great a consequence? I have some children who feel/think that when I am upset I am showing them I don't care. Or worst, I am treating them differently. FYI....IF you ever had/have such a conversation wit your parent? Its more likely because they DO care! In my talk with one guy the comment was made that I did treat him differently. Humm...my reply? "This is how a REAL mom reacts!" Real moms get upset at impending danger, real moms care enough to intervene!

After walking away (me that is), my guy came back and apologized, sat on the front porch for about an hour with me. We talked, long and hard. I so appreciate his heart and mostly his spirit. He made it right. I know I tell my kids all the time to "make it great" but there is so much to be said for "making it right"!

In my crazy, fun, "I love it" life I am just not willing to watch my children make some mistakes. Oh, I know they will happen, but once I am "involved"? I am not going to sit back and watch. I am going to parent and pray. Pray that my children make good choices(haha...at very least most of the time).

The coolest thing in the whole wide world of parenting is to see understanding register on the face of a child. To see them "get it". For my older incorporation's it is sometimes hard to understand the simple love of a mother. To understand that we will stand up against giants for our children....such is the life God intended!

Growing up!

Too quickly my children grow up! Chelsea accepted her first "job" today. As in her first official after college job. It was a little sad to me...means she is moving on. Well...I can't whine much, she is still in Savannah and still at home...lol. But I sure do love the person she has "grown-up" to be. That is such a bonus in parenting! Her sweet friend Suzanne took this neat picture a couple of weeks ago...I loved it!

Pray for Cindy please!

My friend of many years, a fellow adoptive mommy, is dying of cancer. She is one of the strongest and most incredible ladies I know! You can visit her blog by clicking on "Cindy A" on the sidebar. You will be blessed to read her words, you will be blessed to see her spirit. It is so humbling to read of her faith!! Please say a prayer for Cindy and her family!!

Humbling Gains...

I have in my lifetime had many successes. I had a wonderful family in which to grow up with. I had a strong Christian father who worked to provide for his family. I had a mother who was always home, always listening and always concerned. My parents shared our home with foster children for about 8 years before they began to adopt. They set an example of hospitality...with the ultimate impact, adopting 6 children.

My parents were not perfect. Good grief! I am fairly thankful that "perfection" is not an option. We can't be perfect! BUT, we sure can be the best "us" we can be! We can make decisions and choices that make us better individuals.

Right along with the successes in my childhood I had losses. I was born with a disability, congenital scoliosis. I should have been mentally handicapped. I should have never walked. I should never have had to opportunity for a life such that I have lived. SO many of those losses because gains. After my back surgery at age 8 I wore a 25 pound body cast for a year (I think I only weighed slightly more than the cast). It was a humbling experience to be stared at and questioned. What to a child appeared to be a loss was actually physically and mentally a gain. What empathy and understanding I gained! The ability to live life fully was gained. It was a blessing!

I have continued to have a lifetime of success, loss, humbling experiences and true gains. As a parent my life has been no different. I have had so many blessings, so much success. I really do have some great children.Knowing that, understanding that, seeing those successes does not make the "humbling" easier when it comes. Sometimes it makes it harder. Even my strongest kids will make mistakes (Gasp!..lol). It's true.

Just this week I has a daughter be disrespectful to leaders (worst if possible? There were Christian leaders). I had a son take something from a brother (AKA...Stealing) and deny knowledge of involvement to his dad and I repeatedly (AKA...Lying). I as a son not follow thru with a request of mine which left another brother thinking mom did not care about him (AKA...No respect). I had a daughter be unkind with her words (AKA...hateful) to a little boy who lost his dad to cancer this summer.

It goes on and on.....humbling this mother seemingly way to often. Proof that where there is good there is evil. Where is is joy there is sadness. Where there is good health there is poor health. My heart grows, my understanding grows with each humbling act. I have always been a big believer of "perspective". This far I can say sincerely that God has and continues to bless me with a greater understanding.

The tough part? It is really tough to see the positive when faced with the heartbreak. IF you keep your heart safe. If you forgo frustration and seek God? Then you realize that blessings are not all brought through joy. Some of the most powerful blessings in my life have come "hard"! It helps me truly understand "Be thankful in all things!" So it seems my life will likely continue the cycle of humbled to be exalted for Christ......again and again and again.

My prayer is pretty simple.... That I never loss sight of the true reason I am on this earth and that I always look for the good, for Christ, in all I do!

Ben...also know as Corporal Burkhart:)

Gary and Janet (Scott's pretty neat sister) had a party for Ben Saturday. Ben flew in from Colorado for the weekend and family drove in from several directions, all anticipating time with Ben:) Janet and Gary have a beautiful home and the temperature was wonderful! It could not have been a more beautiful day. It only lended itself to our being able to linger longer and be with family more.

Ben is such a neat guy....just ask anyone:) It is a true JOY to be with him and celebrate his life. Celebrate his homecoming (even a short one). You only have to be with him for a few minutes, only listen a short time to hear the faith and conviction of this wonderful young Christian! Then you too would understand why we all love Ben so very much!!

What a super day!!

Picking up at MSYC:)

Ryan and Daniel both received awards for swimming:) They sure do love to swim!!

Mercedez and her sweet friend both received "Marvelous Manners" awards for helping when a water pipe in their cabin burst. Mercedez sat on the pipe..lol:) More impressively was the fact that they stayed and helped clean up! I am very proud of her...way to go!!
Michael got an award for saying memory verses!! I LOVE that!! An extra special award in moms eyes!!
Carlton received two awards for swimming. One was biggest splash...duh! lol:)

The kids had such a wonderful week.. I was there early this morning to pick them up. We were able to pack the girls up before awards and the boys after. I had several get awards.