My Treasure

Upside Down

I took this picture of Zack a few weeks ago. The last few weeks have followed a tough year, with really tough months that turned into a really hard couple of weeks! Upside down is what our life was like for a little while. Friday marked the end of a seriously long mission for help. Zackery was approved and is now at Youth Villages for treatment. For the second time Zack sat through a meeting with his behaviors and needs discussed with no emotion. He played a little pool game the entire time, interrupting our conversation to tell us how good he was at pool or some trivia he had heard about pool. No clue to reality. No concern for reality. He hugged us and said goodbye with no emotion.

Scott went on the pick up Carlton and I headed back home with Chelsea. Chelsea was able to go with me, so I picked her up at Freed and she rode the rest of the trip over and home with me. I am very thankful for Chelsea! She is a huge help to Scott and I! With her degree (Child and Family Studies) it has been neat (if you can call it neat) for her to be able to be with us and watch the staff at Youth Villages.

Upon arriving home Sam had his first since home meltdown. Hopefully the chaos in the house will be at a much better level with Zack away. We hope Sam will have time to settle down and start to gain confidence in his skills.

First Show

Tonight was the first night we have used the new screen for the projector. It is much nicer than my sheets:) It is very clear although my picture is blurry (I was trying to not use the flash!). Robin Hood, one of our family favorites was the chosen show. Even Stuart walking in saying, "Robin Hood, this is my favorite movie!"

Cooper is ONE

Today we (Sarah, Ryan, Seth and myself) all enjoyed sharing my sister Sandy in celebrating her baby's very first birthday. Sandy always does such a great job with her little boys parties. She had the table looking so nice. She makes their cakes...Cooper's cake was Curious George. SO very cute! Happy Birthday Cooper!!

Carlton

Carlton is home for the long weekend. He went to the game with us last night and has helped Dad most all day. I caught him helping Dad and Jacob with the lawnmower earlier today. We really do see great improvements in him and feel so very positive about his time at the ranch.

A great day to run!

Today Doug ran at big open in Florence Alabama. He has a great run. His fastest time. He finished first from our team. There were many many runners. The first frame above did not even get them all (needed a wider lens). Stuart went and did a great job taking pictures for me! I was really glad to boys were able to spend time together:)

Btw, the last picture was a favorite of mine.....Doug cooling off those hot feet in the river:)

A big win:)

We had a very big win last night. Caleb kicked a field goal and three extra points. He also kicked off doing a great job:)

Football spectators:)

This is a picture of Scott and our "little" spectators on our way into the game. I am going to have to rename my "little people" ...lol...they sure are growing up. But, to this momma they will always be little:)

First home football game tonight!

Tonight begins our High Schools normal season. The game is at home and I think everyone is ready. It is pretty wonderful to live in a small town. Football games are a community affair:) We are looking forward to a big win!

First Cross Country meet today!

Today was the first meet of the season for Doug and the cross country team. Doug finished first for our team (yeah Doug!!!). I had wondered how he would be able to do today after missing practice days because of his wisdom teeth extraction, but he did manage to do well, just not as well as he wanted. I think he did great....his time was better than his best time last year. I always tell my runners, you only have to keep beating yourself to keep doing well. Doug is really doing well!!

Sweet friends

As I read this comment by Shani I was thankful at first....the "somebody is noticing my work" kind of thankful. The kind moms everywhere want to be told. My second thought (the one that is usually right on) was boy I must really type a skewed reality. Yes, we have vacations, braces, hairdos, sports but I am not always together(does my house really look neat? lol). I usually start that way, but be real, with this crew rarely do things go all right. I have been known to get so far behind in the afternoon that I actually send a teenage boy after a billion tacos for dinner. I have not done laundry for days at a time(gasp! that part is usually serious). I do fall apart. I agree it is when I loose sight of the goal for the most part. Yet sometimes? Life it really tough sometimes. This week has been particularly hard. The "goal" had nothing to do with the life. Untrue, it did have something to do, but my love and faith cannot make a child emotionally well, it cannot mend my child. It can help me understand, but understanding cannot stop a raging child (or at least not mind). Life is tough and it was a nice week for you to be so kind to me:)

I am blessed with a sweet family. I intentionally blog the things I like:) Although I do think I blog the yuck too. My house is an explosion of life, all it's wonders (good and bad). I would like to say we are "moderate" but only the mathematical mean of this crew would ever land in the middle.

Thank you Shani for such a sweet comment:) I'm sure I am nowhere near that good, but dreaming sure is nice!

Happy Birthday Joseph!!

Did you know an Ostrich doesn't really bury its head in the sand? They just lay down and stretch their necks out against the ground trying to appear as a lump. That is really comforting to me..lol:) I was thinking about burying my head in the sand and started wondering just how many otriches got run over while their head was in the ground? I never have been a big "hide from my problems" kind of person. I like to see what I am faced with. I want to know where I am going and where I have been. But I do understand the "lay down and act like a lump" line of thought. I think all mom's from time to time would like to be invisible. Seeing but unfound. That's what those crazy ostriches do.

I have had one kind of morning with Zack. I don't even want to talk about it. Seems to be endless yuck when on the Zack topic.

I did have to cancel Sam's med appointment this morning and I really hated that. I hope we can get back on track with him soon. His Intercept worker was going to meet us there. Although I had to call her and cancel too. She will be here this afternoon.

Today is my Joseph's 18th birthday! I took the picture above as he,John and Mercedez left for THUMP this morning. He wanted to have his cake at the 5th quarter tomorrow night following the football game, so we will have pictures then:)

Eval.

Zackery's eval today went well ...I think. I have not received any word yet, but feel surely they will offer help!

I sat and spoke of Zackery's issues calmly. I think they are very significant. I cannot imagine anyone listening and not realizing that as well. Zackery, to my surprise, answered truthfully to the "serious" questions for perhaps the first time ever. He smiled. Admitted to being happy. Not really happy to be there, but did say "I am having a happy day". When in the midst of my talking the interviewer stopped and asked Zack if "bothered him to hear me talk about these things?" he said nope. No remorse so not much reason to upset by the words. He just sat there swinging back and forth in his chair, grinning when spoken to.

It really struck home the severity of his issues. He does not even find fault in them. When asked if he obeys his parents? "Sometimes when I'm not mad." So basically when he wants to. Does he ever want to hurt others? "Yes, when they make me mad." Does it matter if they(the people he gets mad at and wants to hurt) are little or big? "Nope." Do you steal? "yes" What kind of things? "everything" He does not mind going to stay there if it will help him to "get to play outside" when he comes home. It is just endless. Well, that is an exaggeration...it did end.

We will hopefully know by tomorrow if they will be able to help.

Tasha's new hair...

BEFORE

Tasha has been trying to grow her hair out since 2nd grade when she had Mrs Moffett as her teacher. She thought Mrs Moffett looked like Sleeping Beauty and LOVED her long hair. The past 4 years have really taught us that Tasha's hair grows very slowly and she just has that hair that looks "unbrushed" two minutes after brushing. This summer she opted to not use rubber bands much and stringy hair has followed. Last weekend Sarah told her, "You brush your hair more than anyone else and it just doesn't look good. You need a hair cut." I have been trying to get her to have one to no avail, yet she and Sarah emerged from the "big girls end" with a new haircut (courtesy of big sister Sarah!). Very cute and super easy to care for!!


AFTER

Limitations?

Today our new Intercept(family counselor)worker was here to meet Sam and visit. We talked about safety plans and goals and a bunch of stuff we had spoken to the first worker about and needed to talk about again. She asked me to tell her about our family. So I did the usual brief bio. Then just asked if she had any questions. I find there are no "average" questions. Well, aside from cooking and laundry questions that seem to be automatic. People always questions different things. So after my bio I asked for her questions. Her question, the one that really stumped me was, "What limitations do you have? I know there are things that a family of two can do that you cannot, what are they?" Hum. I really do not feel limited as a family. I do think we make choices, we(Scott and I) choose not to do lots of things, but they are not really based on limitations based on size. Perhaps income, we have not taken everyone to Disney or the Grand Canyon. It just costs to much. Yet I don't think we are anymore limited than a two child family in that respect. We do vacation, just within our means. I really felt that I did not do a good job with this question. I explained that we did not allow our little boys (3 who were asked to play travel ball this Fall)play. But that is more of a choice to us, we do not choose to miss church every Sunday all Fall playing baseball.

When talking about it with Scott I decided perhaps I have rose colored glasses. Perhaps I am missing something?? But limitations is a big word. Sam and Zack, personally are limited by behavior, as they are no longer allowed to play intramural sports. Even that is a choice in my mind...they chose to be disrespectful and aggressive and they are not playing due to that choice.

Maybe I am to hung up on words. I have learned in my parenting over the last couple of years that my words are very serious. I try to treat them that way. My children do not "get" to do anything, they "earn" the privilege. Words are big.

When all is said and done? I do not perceive my family as limiting. I personally have limits (I think we all do). I cannot just up and go on vacation without massive planning...but again...isn't that true of all moms? I don't go shopping out of town much, I have to pick up my children at school by 3. A limitation, yet again, don't most parents have to make those accommodations?

I am going to Memphis today. Zackery has an intake eval with Youth Villages. Scott and I have very very very much prayed for intervention on behalf of Zack. Perhaps today we will find it?

I will have to think more on limitations:)

Gainfully employed:)

Ben began work this morning at Clayton's. He packed his own lunch and was out the door early(around 6:30am). When I asked if it was as bad as he had heard? He said "It was fun" :) Proving that life is what you make it!

I did get tickled last night as Scott walked through the house headed to see Ben. When we asked why he said, "I have to tell him when they send him to the shop to get the wood stretcher not to go." Sarah and I (goofy us) asked why not? Scott only grinned and told us "there is no such thing as a wood stretcher". Hum...Good to know. BTW...they haven't asked him yet (because I asked) but he is now prepared:)

Gotta love them!

Today I found steaks for half price at the grocery and bought up a bunch. I planned to broil them in the oven. Jacob asked if I would mind if he and Ben grilled them?? Mind?? It would be my pleasure...and everyone else as well! They did a wonderful job!! I cannot forget to comment on Doug the "store runner" for picking up A-1, Dale's sauce and cokes:) I am in awe of my big boys (and I include Ben too!). They are doing such a good job stepping up to bat for me with the big girls gone. Dinner was a pleasure we all enjoyed!

PS. I asked Chelsea to take the boys picture grilling and all the hoodlums who followed her outside were NOT allowed to stand around as they cooked! But when I pulled up the picture? There they all were horning in on the Kodak moment!

No more sheets!

No more sheets hanging from the wall to watch our movies on. Our new projector screen came last Friday and Saturday night John and Scott mounted it to the wall. We have not had a movie run on it yet, but I sure am looking forward to one!

Happy Birthday Mercedez!

Today is Mercedez' 13th birthday! Welcome to the teen years:) My first girl to enter the teens in a very long time. Sarah was the last. Mercedez is the oldest of my youngest 6 girls. She is a natural leader and a very sweet girl. We celebrated yesterday so Sarah and Dad(who is traveling this week) could party with us. She spent the bulk of her birthday money on her new hair do, and hair do dads:)

Empower

I believe one of the greatest lessons we can give our children is on empowerment. It can be a gift, but from a parenting standpoint(to me) it is a tool we give our children. The definition of empower is:


em·pow·er
–verb (used with object) 1. to give power or authority to; authorize, esp. by legal or official means: I empowered my agent to make the deal for me. The local ordinance empowers the board of health to close unsanitary restaurants.
2. to enable or permit: Wealth empowered him to live a comfortable life.

I love the second definition. To enable or permit. As parents we will enable our children, no doubt about it! But how? How will you give them power? Will you enable them to greatness or failure?

Words that come to mind with empowerment in my parenting are: allow, authorize, commission, delegate, enable, entitle, grant, invest, license, and warrant.

If I do my job then I raise children who can take on the world. Children who know themselves. Who know there is a way to success, and they have the confidence in self to find it. The are enabled in a substantial way. I know enabling children who cling to mothers and are never self-sufficient. Those are the other side of the empowerment coin. Those children are empowered as well...to weakness. Are they happy? Are they confident in themselves? Do they have self-worth? I doubt it.

This is an ever growing skill we give our children. Every task in life empowers them to success. Pouring their own milk, making their own bed, brushing their own teeth. Empowering skills grow as our children grow. My high schoolers can wash their own clothes, iron, cook, and do all their homework independently.They are empowered to personal growth.

The empowerment that I feel is extremely important (not that the life skills are not) are personal judgement skills. These are the long talks we have with our children about coping with others, disappointment, success, happiness, and sadness. The emotional empowerment. Emotional health and well-being are a must in society today. Confidence in self and ones abilities is the way to independent living.

If we set the bar for success in the physical and emotional realms then we have gifted our children with the ability to empower all spiritual gifts. The ultimate empowerment! God has empowered our children, if they have normal mental facilities, to His calling(Luke 13:13). Some of my children are not going to be successful, theya re not truly able. It is my faith in God, based on what He has empowered me with to know that those children will be cared for by Him. But, if they are "normal" then they will have success in all realms of their lives. They will make mistakes, yet if they are empowered with good decision making skills they will know how to use those mistakes and make them positives in their lives.

God empowers all men and women to believe in the name of Jesus(John 1:12-13). This is the ultimate empowerment to our children, to have them understand the love of our Father and the gifts He has bestowed to them.

The most wonderful part of parenting is seeing our children grown in the Lord. To know that they are strong and faithful. That faithfulness comes through knowledge and the strength of that knowledge comes from a God who allows our children to each love and serve uniquely.

Our role is so important to God and to our children. Our will and His have to be in line as we raise our children. If we do well it is guaranteed that God will lead our children's hearts(Proverbs 22:6).

An afternoon at the farm:)

This is my little sister Sandy and her youngest son, Cooper. She is a busy mom with three precious little boys. I have said it before and I will say it many many more times I am sure, but my little sister is one of the neatest people I know! Sandy and Chad sacrifice(aka budget and work very very hard) to allow her to be home with her children. An indcredible gift she is giving her children! She babysits in her home and is a blessing to those children! I love her:)



Jacob and Cooper stood at the water hose a very long time playing. Cooper loved running his hand under the water. Jacob thought he was so funny!



These are my youngest boys:) They were diligently searching (with some great success) for craw fish right until Seth (who was on the rocks) managed to step into a yellow jacket nest. Thankfully he was only stung three times (three to many) and especially thankful he is not one of my kiddos who swell with bites.



We all gathered today to be able to spend time with my baby brother Matthew. He is a great guy. He loves his family and it shows:)



I love this of John and Cooper! You can tell we miss babies:)



Olympic inspired racing. I think Seth may have jumped the gun:)



Sarah and Mercedez both had hair appointments today. For Mercedez' birthday she wanted highlights in her hair. I now have a slightly striped child. She loves it:)



Sarah and Cade. Cade is Sandy's oldest and a super funny guy! He has the cutest Southern drawl and is always saying something to make my kids laugh:)



This picture of Clara Ruth and Cooper was so cute!! I think the flower was edible:) Of course John, now standing behind me reading over my shoulder,saying after reading that last sentence about edible... "It could have been", so I will correct my words and say this, "Of course it COULD have been eaten, yet if he did eat it? It was fine...the flower is edible in a healthy way".



Last, but not least, the cook:) Everybody loves the cook!