Chelsea and Sharkboy

Last night Chelsea walked out to go see a friend and I told Scott, "I am going to miss her so much! I have seriously wanted to say, Chelsea don't go to Michigan!". Scott smiled and replied, "Chelsea will be fine." LOL I know that! I am the one not fine:) Scott knew that too. It is always such a joy to have a child who likes to be near me:) Chelsea will sit beside me at the pool....go to ballgames because he wants to see her brothers play....ask me to go to Sonic and help her use up her gift card....helps me in the kitchen with nearly every meal.....plays cards with me and talks while we bake. Yep, a dream come true this child is! At least to a busy crazy mom:)

She will have a great summer....she will be a tremendous addition to the Grandville church .....her life will be better for her work and dedication. That is just Chelsea! That attitude is what makes her so special.

My kiddos will miss her too. Seth will miss her warm body at the pool. She will let that silly guy get out of the pool and sit with her (and he is freezing!) and and the minute he gets warm again he jumps back into the pool.....only to repeat the actions. No whining from Chelsea about getting her wet....or cold....or bothering her.....she loves him and he knows it!

Why we need a lifeguard!

While at the pool the other day a little girl (likely 11 or so) brought 4 friends to swim. Most of the other 4 (5th grader was the oldest) were not great swimmers. I was simply horrified that a couple of mothers let these children come unattended! I cannot imagine. All of my children, except Seth, were stronger swimmers than any of these kids, yet there is not one of mine I would let come alone! Perhaps it is a throw over from my years as a lifeguard in high school and college? But you do not swim alone and you do not allow children to swim unattended! Neither mom had anyway of knowing there was an adult at the pool because the children walked up themselves.

I have some kiddos who will never be allowed to go to the pool alone. A couple of which are pictured above. They would complete any dare....they always win "craziest" dive.....they are unconcerned about pain or hurt....mostly "not thinking" when it comes to games like that. This is why my kids need a lifeguard!

hair hair hair....

I remember nearly 20 years ago an argument between my sister Stacy and the new youth minister David Baker. David made the comment "If your long hair offends someone you should cut it". My sister Stacy, ever argumentative, argued "You cannot please everyone so she would not cut her hair if it offended someone!" Funny that they were both right. Perhaps choosing "hair" as the issue was the challenging part....but there are many things in this life we can change, and should change and just as many we should not.

Tonight John continued the "hair" argument at the Smotherman house. He argued "I will not change who I am!" I agree! Although he does not yet understand that "who" he is has nothing to do with hair! He thinks it does because he is young, but the appearances of this life will slip away someday and let us hope that John is never defined by his hair!

My thoughts are simple.....If I am wearing a dress and mistaken for being Pentecostal (because I do not wear make-up and my hair is long)....that is fine. A conservative Godly woman I do not mind being mistaken for! But, should I dress in black and wear heavy black eyeliner, dye my hair midnight black and be mistaken for being Gothic? I have a problem....if my appearance would make someone think I am Gothic, or any other unGodly thing....I need to change! I should never dress in such a way to lead another to sin, or believe I condone unGodly ways. It matters not how much I love the color black, like eyeliner or have the "right" to dye my hair any color I want! It seems pretty simple. If it can cause another to stumble....STOP.

John has yet to try to understand this concept. Change. It can be good and it can be bad. But WE choose. Simple. Yet not simple....God is fairly clear about our example and what HE expects from us!

I am really tried of the hair thing. I told John tonight as he pouted I am "always finding fault in him" that he is a good kid and he had yet to have me ride him about much of anything. His anger mostly stems from me asking him a question about his behavior(one that had been questioned to be by others outside of our home).....a fairly simple one he had only to say "no mom" to. But he has acted in such a way that causes me concern. I explained that as his mother I would be asking a whole lot of questions in the future....and if he did not learn to answer me truthfully and take the question at face value(so to speak)....I would really believe him guilty of a whole lot due to his sulky defensive behavior!

The "who, what, where, when and why's" truly are a parents right. A right Scott and I will demand of our children.

teamwork

Chelsea organized a game of baseball for all my little people and Stuart went along as another adult. They played in the hot sun for a long time. I drove to the field to take some pictures but found the game over and the crowd heading home. I managed to capture this one picture. My children are all going to miss Chelsea this summer and Stuart this Fall. They both spent a lot of time with my little ones! There is simply no greater blessing than big brothers and sisters who love you ....and show it!!!

First swim day!

Saturday was our first day at the pool. We love the pool....love the summer months....love having time to be "free". My children always count days until the pool is open. Saturday was a big day!

Sisters helping...

On the way to the pool the other say Seth said with a smile, "remember when you said I could swim this year??" lol....Yes I did say that...although I said it forward thinking that he would be a much stronger swimmer this year. And I am sure he will be....but it does require a tad bit of work! Seth is blessed with a bunch of concerned sisters. Sisters who would like to "help" which is translated "boss" him. Swimming does not really change any of that:) Of the sisters Victoria(baby girl of the family) and Bella are the most helpful.

Personality plays such a big part in my children's "helping". Bella is an overwhelming personality....she likes to be in control. It shows in her helping Seth....she really does want him to do well, but more than that she wants him to depend on her, to need her. A tad bit controlling:)

In one of the most surprising summer personalities Victoria has been the best friend/sister/teacher/mentor/helper Seth has had! Seth and Tori have always been at odds somewhat ....both being the babies of their respected sexes and both having no respect for the others position:) But, Tori has given very wise and very good advice to Seth as he becomes a stronger swimmer. She does not want him to cling to her (thank goodness he would like drown her) but she wants him to have success! She praises appropriately and does not crowd in until he truly needs help. I have seen a side of my youngest daughter that has made me sit up and re-evaluate....she is wonderful. I know she is still whiny, loud, and pushy....yet I also know that being the baby of my 8 opinionated and all strong willed girls is a somewhat hard place to reside. I was so tickled and very proud to see her personality and love show so well in helping Seth!!

Even still.....

I have sat and blogged this morning with Sam beside me in crisis. Crisis due to his language at the table...the mutterings of which earned him a seat beside mom while sisters and brothers ate in peace. He has kicked, cried, moaned, yelled, blamed, tried to destroy property and even apologized......and yet I still blogged the part about never regretting my children. I do think that somewhere a mother should be severely punished for the loss she caused this child....for the abuse and neglect...for the abandonment and alcohol abuse...for the childhood he should have had!! The childhood that might have positively effected the life he leads now. Although now? He is mine to try to positively effect....mine to discipline.....mine to love......

Granny and Sarah

I vented about Sarah (and did not exaggerate on any of it) but I can also praise her for her sweet spirit and loving attitude. She is the best great-grandchild about visiting Granny. She will go by on her own without me asking. She is wonderful. I took these yesterday. Sarah and I went by to visit. Sarah wanted to visit her before she left. Granny fell and broke her wrist about 10 days ago and is doing really well. But, like us all she really enjoys the attention:)

Disagreeable

Last night at church following a Paraguay meeting a mom of two commented that she wished she had never had children. One of those comments that come from frustration and exhaustion, one that causes moms of small sweet children to gasp and mom's with teens and grown kids to find sympathy in her aggravation. I know what she meant. I understand the frustration of trying to be everything for your kids (and this mom is everything and then some!) and seemingly to always come up lacking. "Seemingly" being judged by the yard stick of appreciation and thanksgiving. Well, I must say that thanksgiving is sometimes a long time coming. I do think it is taught. But, I also think it is a behavior that is easier for some. Some children/adults seem to find thanksgiving by simply living. Others dig and dig to find it in their heart. I have children like this.....it troubles me because I am a Christian. I think we should have thanksgiving in our hearts everyday, every hour, every second. I know there is sorrow, yet each moment allows us to experience "life" and I am thankful.

I thought about that mom this morning as I waved to Sarah and Scott leaving the driveway. Sarah, who has a phobia for flying (but has successfully flown several times), slightly waved and glared at me.....as if to say "If I die it is your fault". Perhaps my impression was wrong? Sarah has been frustrated that Scott and I have made her honor her commitment with this trip. Did we make her go?? No, the choice was hers, but after non-refundable tickets are bought, passports and visas attained, she is going. Perhaps she will never go again? Doubtful, I feel confident that Sarah will get there and have the time of her life. See sights and learn to love people she might have never seen if she had not gone.

I truly feel that mom's thoughts when I think of my morning. Last night we decided that Chelsea, Sarah and I would go eat breakfast together before she left. I woke at 5:30, wrote a few letters, got dressed and went to check on the girls. Chelsea was awake and getting dressed. Sarah was still in bed. I asked Sarah if she was ready to get up and go have breakfast? She got up and said she did not have much time. So accommodating I suggested we go somewhere quick. She did not want greasy, not pancakes, not donuts, not...not...not... She had not finished packing and did not have time. So Chelsea and I offered to go and get her breakfast.....no ...no ...no....nothing sounded good to her. I offered fruit and yogurt....she decided on oats. So I walked to the kitchen and made her and Scott oats for breakfast. Chelsea and I ran to get milk, and toilet paper (lol...necessities). I called Sarah on the way home to tell her the oats were ready. When we got home I found butter and sugar for Sarah so she could finish her breakfast. Her suitcase was too heavy and I spent too long convincing her to take a carry on. "Disagreeable" was the key behavior this morning.

I am disappointed somewhat. I was thinking of a peaceful few hours with Sarah. A nice breakfast with big girls, carrying out suitcases and last minute talks. ..... It is that kind of thought that is not realistic with Sarah. I should know that. I should not allow my feelings to be hurt. But, just like that mom last night.....just like Sarah.....frustration moves in....and understanding moves out.

I am not and have never been sorry for having children. I love my children. Thankful or not they are mine and I am theirs:) Although like mothers and people everywhere.....appreciation and thanksgiving are always a sweet bonus!

Paraguay

Sarah leaves for Paraguay, South America in the morning. Scott took Sarah to the church to load her suitcase on the trailer. Sarah is going with such a wonderful group of people! There will be 16 going to working with the mission team there in Paraguay for 10 days. I took this picture as she headed out the door to load her suitcases. One is hers and one is empty and ready to load with extra things for the team members. As she was leaving I was explaining that if she needed to keep up with the extra suitcase she could just snap them together. She said that her suitcases would not do that and she did not know why I kept saying that! I showed her how to snap them together and she exclaimed with frustration, "I can't believe you did not show me that before I went to Boston!!" I thought she knew...oops!

Compromise of beliefs

I have found that I have been compromising my beliefs. It was a small thing at first, yet it has become an issue. The issue? My boys hair. I have never favored long hair on boys. It is a personal preference. I like neat heads. I love my little guys buzzed heads. No work at maintaining....just clean cut heads. I do realize that as my guys get older they should have some ownership to their heads and the care of their heads. But that does not mean they are free to die their hair green or grow it past their eyes. I feel just a similar about facial hair and clothing. But my compromise has slid in on the tail on my sympathy. Sympathy that a couple of my guys have male patterned balding at a very young age. I thought to my self by way of justification "They might as well enjoy it while they have it". Not such a good justification in hind sight!

I would not follow that logic with other things. I would not say "I guess I should let all my girls indecent bathing suits because they have bodies for them now and later will not!' lol... How crazy!

I suppose the hardest part of this is that my long haired guys believe it is a right to "be how they want to be". My allowing long hair has given them an attitude that I do not like. So I suppose I will back up and confront the err of my ways.

Our summer interns!

Our summer interns are really great! How very very blessed we are each year to have two Freed Hardeman college student (and boy and girl) come and spend the summer assisting our youth minister and planning great activities for our teens! This year Blake and Lane are with us! They are pictured above with Chelsea. They came to graduation to support the graduates:) To me that is a big deal....I never go unless I have family or a child graduating....it is a long ordeal to sit through when you do not know everyone!

Sarah's speech

As the newly elected Student Council President Sarah had to give a speech at the graduation. It was short and very nice. Short was appreciated by all as she was the last to speak:) It was nice to have our family so nicely represented tonight at graduation....Stuart and Sarah!

Stuart is graduated!!

Stuart graduated on Friday night! Everyone in the family was there to see this big day! Grannie and Pa came from Murfreesboro too!

The High School has "Project Graduation" for all the Seniors. Seniors enter the High School at 11pm and activities, food, fun,prizes and especially friends are there until the following morning. You have to stay inside and should you leave you cannot come back. I am not sure how many years they have done this, but several. It is a wonderful safety tool! Stuart won $50:) It is really nice to have a support team like our children have!

Pirates of the Caribbean

Pirates of the Caribbean had a midnight showing last night at our theater. Ten of us went. Six of the ten were mine and 4 were friends. The friends came on over to wait at the the house for the movie to begin. I took this picture of Kelsey and Jacob coloring. Some played cards, domino's and then settled to watch the the second Pirates movie.

I can say truthfully that this was not my favorite movie. I know that when making sequels the urge to go bigger is big(lol). In this case they succeeded.....bigger movie length (2hours and 45 minutes), bigger action(although way to much bodily harm for my taste) and bigger characters. While the movie came full circle, I was saddened by it. Thankfully the sad part was short in the scheme of things (I cried through it even as short as it was!). The kids loved it....of course a theater full of friends:) We were home around 3:15 am....some of mine still lay in bed....but not mom whose day began and looks and sounds much like every other day:)

Ronnie Smith

Michael is on the Ronnie Smith team(a local car dealer). It is really kinda rare that I have a child on a ball team all by themselves! Michale has really enjoyed a good year with baseball. Last night getting on base every time he batted. His team won:)

McDonalds

My three little guys all play on a team supported by McDonald's. Last night Chelsea sat at ballgames with my ballplayers while we were at baccalaureate. Both teams won! the McDonald's team all went to McDonald's after the game to celebrate. McDonald's gave all the boys on the team free happy meals....lol....which made my guys really happy:)

Graduation is here!

Stuarts graduation Baccalaureate service was last night. The group above and I went and it was a great service! One of the graduating seniors father is a minister and spoke. Tonight is graduation! Hard to believe!

I sat last night at the service and looked around....many parents with their last child graduating, many with their first child graduation, and many with their only child graduating, and many like me with a middle child graduating(lol...I just have a bigger "middle" than most). No matter the position of those parents graduate....most all of those parents have similar hopes and dreams for their child. I know that I want for Stuart a full and happy life. College is before Stuart. But, college or not I want him to be happy. In truth college will not make or break his future.....the choices he makes and the attitude that follows him will. My prayer is that Stuart never leave God's side and he grow to be the young man that God(and I ) know he can be! Tonight begins a new and wonderful phase in Stuarts life:)

Puppies

You would know on one of our busiest nights Lady would decide to have her puppies. Lady, our cocker spaniel of 9 years, has never been a good momma. She is not maternal, she does not apparently produce much milk, she usually has more than half of her liters die. My big kids watched and we had puppies several times with our dogs over the years....but it has been at east 5 years since we have had puppies at the Smotherman house. My little kids are so tickled. I am hesitant to be excited. We have 3 puppies delivered right now and one was born dead. Two sweet puppies are currently alive. We will just have to wait and see. In the picture above my little girls, dressed for Baccalaureate services are watching puppies:)

I love summer!

I love summer! I love having my children home. The only problems is getting to the store:) But for now, I love it. The little ones and I worked in the garden and then cooled off in the water hose. I have a few who really love it:) Even at sprinkler time you can see personalities and differences so clearly! I have a couple who really just do not like it, they had rather just go inside and get a drink. I have a few who love it, but one in light sprinkling. Those are the giggly speedy ones:) (lol..unless they fall!) Then I have the drenchers. The ones who would just stand 2 inches from the hose all day. The ones who think it is heavenly to have ice cold water rushing over them....lol. I thought this pictures where funny. Most obviously a couple of drenchers!

Forever the Sickest Kids

I am one of those people who does not like "mouthy disrespectful" shirts. I sometimes might find them funny....but I do not like to see them on children. I never even bought the "Here comes trouble" shirts for my little ones....and some really were trouble:) If we are what we eat then we are what we wear as well. The inside of our bodies and the outside should both be in harmony. hummm...a thought! I also think that clothing needs to be respectful to all(in general....I know "all" is a big word). I know that we cannot please everyone all the time....but our clothing should not cause others to wonder about our attitudes, behaviors or soul!

For those kids, mostly teens who wear black all the time? I think only of hell. I think of dark unhappy souls. Perhaps that is not their point, but it is my perception. Sometimes we are guilty of thinking that everyone else automatically understands our motives. A mistake. I believe our clothing should not leave anyone wondering.

Today John asked me about letting him buy a t-shirt by a group he likes. The front of the shirt is the picture above. I have a problem the shirt. "Forever the Sickest Kids" is a logo that certainly makes me wonder. I think of gross and inappropriate. To those who know their music....it would be cool. Most would think that my John is one sick kid who likes sick sayings.

So ...no t-shirt. I really think that we(everyone) should be careful when wearing logos and such. Certainly everyone in my house.

Lunch with my big girls!

I had lunch today with Chelsea and Sarah at Worleybird Cafe (1/2 owned by Darryl Worley country music singer and small town Savannah wonder). It was nice. Sarah leaves this weekend for Paraguay. Chelsea leaves in two weeks for Michigan. Today was likely the last quiet moment I will have with both girls for a while. I am blessed. I have two beautiful girls. They will both be 18 and 20 this year! I know I have tried to be the mother I wanted to be for them....yet, I totally understand that God has made them who they are! They are both strong Christian girls. Both have such wonderful hearts and level heads. I could not be prouder of them!

Testing

Today Seth had an early appointment for testing at the elementary school. We took his picture going into school. He is so very excited about kindergarten! On the way to the van, following testing, he told me "I knew all the answers and I got them all right!" lol....This is my full of confidence baby!

After testing he went to Pre-School, even though it was not our day, to be with the group as they had an all morning party! Ponies and lots of fun!

Silly faces!

Silly faces! My family loves being silly. lol...and I enjoy taking pictures of them:) I had a whole lot rather see silly than ranting! duh!

YEAH Doug!!

Today Doug made the High School's traveling baseball team! GOOD JOB!! Doug will spend all of June traveling with the team:) A busy guy he is going to be! But also a very happy guy:) Congrats Doug!

Trixie can dance!

Trixie can dance. The picture might not move, but Trixie is definitely a "thumper". Sarah brought Trixie outside and we watched as he/she(we have no idea which) explored. Of course all "exploring" took place under close guard and inside the fence!

Clarification....

After reading the preceding blog I thought I should clarify something because I will have a teen boy read this (more than one) and be angry at the fine he received today. He might not read the blog in its entirety. He might miss the words respect and ownership(even though I screamed them). I waited for 15 minutes at the spot teen asked me to wait at and never saw or heard from him. That said, when teen came in the door the first words to me were not "I am so sorry you had to wait on me mom", they were not "my bad, it will not happen again!", actually there were no words at all. None until I asked how he got home and where he was? After the small "talk" he stomped off mad. No words of apology.

In keeping with my desire to teach respect and ownership.....had this guy apologized, had he taken ownership, had he expressed his frustration at having practice last too long and not being able to call me? The fine would have been different. I ALWAYS leave room for ownership. Always! It is just that important to me.

I just needed to add that:)

Fines....

I fine(as in $) my teenage boys for disrepectful behavior that requires me waiting or wondering about thier where abouts. It makes for much "finer" and more respectful young men. If they ask me to pick them up and I wait and wait and wait....you are fined. If I tell you I am picking you up and you are not there...you are fined. If I am waiting on my guys, it usually means all 13 of my little people are waiting too. It is simply too hot (or cold) for us to sit in the van forever waiting.

I also tell my big guys that it is not my responsibility to find them! it is there responsibility to be sure I am not looking for them!

Today Jacob and John have been at friends. But, they both called when I asked to keep in touch. I can let them go and know that they will be where I asked and that they will call me and keep in touch.

The flip side to this is very simple. Mom keeps that teen home until she can trust that teen. In the meanwhile....teen is home and mom does not have to worry about where they are. Pretty simple logic to mom!

This is a BIG issue to me. Yes I have a big family, yes I have a lot of children, yes my children are busy, yes we go in seemingly a hundred directions.....BUT it truly matters not whether I have a 100 children or 1....I care about each and every one. It is my job as mother to know all the where, when, who and hows. It seems to me that it is such a small thing (respect) to give in order to receive my trust.

I am forever telling people that I want to teach two things to my children......two life-building skills.....two simple things: RESPECT and OWNERSHIP . These two small words will give them the best of life....the greatest of friends....the sweetest of spouses....the most wonderful children.... a church family that cherishes them....and an eternity with God! Why they seem to be so tough to teach I am not sure! I am a "mean what you say" person. It seems easy to me. I have a couple of books lined up this summer for reading to help(I hope!!) with my communicating this to my children. If they are worth reading I will pass them along..lol! If they work I will scream their titles from the top of the house:)

Miss Tammy

My children have had Miss Tammy as part of their lives for as long as they can remember. She has taught half of them at a pre-school level. She has mentored Chelsea and Sarah at a junior high and high school level in our youth group. And you cannot forget to my boys she is simply Cory's mom!

I took this on Senior Sunday of Chelsea and Tammy. I laugh looking at it...I think perhaps the first time I took a "Tammy and Chelsea" picture Tammy was surely not too very much older than Chelsea! What a friend and what a wonderful example of a Christian woman Tammy has always presented for my children. I am always so thankful for those Christians who love, mentor, teach and befriend my children...Tammy is among the greatest of those!

Ballgames.....

It seems most nights are full of ballgames. Everyone loves them:) tonight Daniel, Ryan and Seth's team played. They won 19 to 3. A great game for our guys! All my little people (I have to think of a new name for them...they are just not so little anymore!!) went with me. It is pretty special for my guys to have a whole cheering section!!

Josh and Seth

Josh is our youth minster. If Seth was true, and I believe he is, then time will fly by and before I know it Seth will be in the middle school and hopefully will be able to be with Josh! Josh and Amber (his sweet wife) have been a tremendous addition to our church family. All my children love them. From my youngest to oldest!

Joseph and Tatia

I took this of Joseph and his girl friend Tatia on Sunday. She is simply one of the sweetest girls!

Zacks play!

Today Zackery's class preformed a play for all the other 4th grades classes, and for the families. Zack was a police officer:) It was cute of course! The class had really worked hard on props and homemade costumes.

8th grade awards day:)

Today was awards day for the 8th grade at the middle school. Jacob and John both are leaving for the high school. I took a picture of them in front of the school. I have two leaving and two moving up to middle school. Rosie and Mercedez will be there next year!

I do want my children to be successful....both in school and out. Always emotionally and especially spiritually. Success is measured in so many ways today in the world we live in! I believe it is wonderful to be successful educationally! To continue to learn is certainly a strong key in life. But the Bible gives us a multitude of behaviors and attitudes that are fundamental in success. Fundamental for us to be and learn as Christians. I hope more than anything that my children can KNOW that they are successful because they are neat wonderful individuals!

John was given an award for being the President of National Junior Honor Society. He was also voted "Most likely to be President of the United States".

Love and Learn graduation

Seth is the last Smotherman to graduate from Love and Learn! Every one of the 16 years since opening the doors of the pre-school there has been a Smotherman in attendance! Miss Pat, the director, asked when we were getting more Smotherman's. LOL...when I have grandchildren I suppose:)

Seth had memorized a Bible verse, Psalm 95:2 and then followed with a very sweet prayer! He did a great job:)